Chapter 4: When You Stare at the Losing Heroine, the Losing Heroine Stares Back
The day after the camp. Monday morning.
In the bustling classroom, I sat silently with my elbow propped on the desk, listening to the surrounding noise.
Conversations about yesterday's TV shows or baseball games shared friends or homework. Some are even sharing complaints that sounded suspiciously like humblebrags.
It's all the usual, mundane chatter. Things that anyone could easily join in on if they just acted normally, accepted their surroundings, and went with the flow. My classmates pulled it off effortlessly.
"Good morning!"
The loud greeting that shattered my train of thought came from Remon Yakishio as she burst through the classroom door. Several voices called back in reply to her cheerful entrance.
Yakishio made her way straight to my desk, dropping her bag on it with a thud.
"Good morning, Nukkun! The camp was so much fun, wasn't it?"
"Oh, uh… good morning."
"Anyway, here, this is for you."
She pulled a piece of paper out of her bag and handed it to me.
Another new picture diary already? Looking at it, I see a girl running alongside a train.
"What's this scene supposed to be?"
"Oh, it's from yesterday. I fell asleep on the train and missed my stop, so I ran back to the station."
Why did she choose that moment?
"Alright, I'll post it online later tonight."
"Thanks a bunch!"
Yakishio waved as she walked to her seat, exchanging greetings and high-fives with her female friends. Where does she get all that energy so early in the morning?
Feeling worn out from people already, I stretched. That's when I noticed Yanami.
Lately, Yanami has been spending more time in a group different than Sosuke Hakamada and Karen Himemiya's. She's chatting with her friends, her warm, inviting smile lighting up the conversation.
Noticing me looking at her, Yanami gave me a small smile. Awkwardly, I averted my eyes.
We still don't talk in the classroom, but she isn't avoiding me either. It's not quite a "secret relationship," but it's something close to it.
From the next classroom over, I heard confused laughter. It was probably Amanatsu-sensei wandering into the wrong room again. That happens about twice a month.
As the classmates, now accustomed to the routine, began trickling back to their seats in preparation for homeroom, another day, the same as always but still unique to today, quietly began.
*
When lunchtime arrived, Yanami left the classroom immediately. A few moments later, I headed to our usual meeting spot, not out of any explicit arrangement but because of an unspoken understanding between us.
Taking the long way around the school building, I stopped by a vending machine to grab a carton of milk. Now, it's time to cut behind the school and head to the emergency staircase.
As I turned the corner of the building, I heard the lively laughter of a group of girls and instinctively stopped.
The voices are familiar. It's the girls from our class, the flashy and attention-grabbing types.
I felt a vague discomfort toward them, and as my mind worked out an alternate route, a familiar name reached my ears.
-Yanami. They definitely said her name.
The tone carried a faint, rough edge to it. I poked the straw into my milk carton and listened in.
"Yanami, like, after all that flirting, she still got dumped for that transfer student? That's just so lame."
"Right? If it were me, I couldn't even show my face at school."
Their careless laughter rang out, sharp and unrestrained.
…So this is where the "Yanami got rejected?" vibe she mentioned is coming from.
Of course, they wouldn't say any of this to her face.
But whispers like these linger in the air, sticking to the hearts of everyone around. While I had been idly walking around drinking water, Yanami had been enduring this.
I knew I shouldn't be listening to this. I turned to leave, but their following words made me stop in my tracks.
"You know what? I heard Yanami moved on to another guy recently."
"No way!" (x2)
…No way. I pressed myself against the wall, straining to hear.
During the camp, there was no sign Yanami had a boyfriend or anything like that.
Unable to explain the situation, I held my breath as their shrill, excited voices echoed in my ears.
"Who is it? Wasn't she called out by the basketball captain the other day?"
"No, it's that guy, you know… the one in her class… Nuku…mizu?"
"Nuku…?" (x2)
Oh, so there's another Nukumizu besides me- wait, there isn't!
So they mean me!? Is that really what's being spread around right now!?
This is bad. What went wrong? Did someone see us eating lunch together? Was it the family restaurant? Or maybe when we happened to be alone together at the beach?
"Oh yeah, there's someone like that, right? On the class roster… somewhere in the middle, I think…"
Do I leave that little of an impression?
While my mind swirled like a stormy sea, the group of girls fell silent. Then, one of them suddenly raised her voice as if in disbelief.
"But Yanami's popular, right? There's no way it's him!?"
"Totally. Yanami's taste is kind of bad, don't you think?"
"Yeah. I mean, I don't even know what his face looks like."
Scenes from earlier flashed through my head over and over.
If rumors about her and someone like me start spreading…
More importantly, Yanami still… she still likes Hakamada.
"You know, Yanami might have been acting a little too cocky just because she's cute. No decent guy would go near her."
"In a way, they're a perfect match, though."
Laughter erupted again. I couldn't listen anymore and walked away.
Crushing the milk carton in my hand, I tossed it into the trash.
*
"I mean, seriously, Nukumizu-kun. Don't you think you were awfully mean this morning?"
Later, at the emergency stairs, Yanami launched into complaints the moment we met, as if she had been waiting.
"Huh, awfully what?"
"You ignored me when I gave you my signal!"
"Well, I mean… if the others in class find out we hang out, wouldn't that be bad for you? I was just being considerate."
Even as I explained, the conversation from the group of girls earlier replayed in my head.
That tight, suffocating feeling in my chest- what is it?
"We're in the same club. A little interaction isn't weird, you know."
"Alright, alright. I wasn't ignoring you on purpose."
"Fine, then."
Satisfied for now, Yanami pulled out her wrapped lunch.
"There was a lot that happened during the retreat, huh?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, there was."
A lot did happen. But it was fun, that much I can say for sure.
I've even started working on the next part of my novel. Writing always felt like such a solitary activity, but having companions around makes it feel… strangely different.
"I got to show off my cooking skills too. Now, today's lunch is ready to be unveiled!"
Did she show anything off? I couldn't remember, but Yanami opened the lid of her lunchbox in front of me. Inside were sandwiches, not from a convenience store, but homemade.
The fillings are ham and lettuce, egg, and… wait, what's the third one? I can see slices of cucumber, but…
Curious, I picked one up.
"Cucumber and…is this moromi miso?" [TL: It's quite like solid soy sauce, though it's not used to make soup.]
So basically, it's morokyu. Crisp cucumber paired with the sweet and salty taste of moromi miso.
"So, how is it?"
"Let's see… yeah, surprisingly, it's okay. Not bad, I guess."
Though the bread has absorbed some of the cucumber's moisture.
"If I had to say, you should probably spread margarine on the bread first."
"Oh, I forgot. So… does that mean a low rating?"
Right, I should assign a value. Hmm, how much debt does she still owe?
Sandwiches actually take more prep than you would expect, like slicing the ingredients and all that. I guess 500 yen seems fair to-
"'In a way, they are a perfect match.'"
Suddenly, the conversation from earlier ran through my mind.
Yanami, the cute and eye-catching girl from our class, and me, a complete background character.
Perfect match? No way. It's more like I would drag Yanami down.
"Nukumizu-kun, what's wrong?"
"…2,867 yen."
"Huh? That's a record high, or, wait-"
Yanami's initial excitement gave way to a puzzled tilt of her head.
"Wait, isn't that the exact amount of my remaining debt?"
"Yeah. With this, it's all paid off."
"Um, you know, this is just a regular sandwich, right?"
Looking like she couldn't make sense of it, Yanami glanced back and forth between her lunch and my face.
…Anna Yanami. Honestly, I still don't understand her at all.
I can never tell where her jokes end and her serious side begins.
She seems to enjoy teasing me and constantly throwing me off balance.
"It's just…I feel like I'm taking advantage of you, Yanami-san. Like, this isn't really okay, is it?"
In reality, someone like her shouldn't even be talking to someone like me.
She's one of the popular, cute girls at the top of the class hierarchy, bright, well-liked, and capable of playing the perfect cheerful, slightly airheaded character.
But she's also a little bit of a crybaby sometimes.
"Your lunch was delicious. Thanks for everything up until now."
She's more than enough to be a fantastic heroine. Hakamada will regret letting her go someday, for sure.
…Yanami, who had been quietly watching me, spoke up in a calm voice.
"At first, yeah, it was just because I didn't have enough allowance. But, there were fun moments too."
She picked up the morokyu sandwich and took a bite.
"I kind of hate endings that feel so half-baked like this."
She gazed at the sandwich's cross-section, her demeanor tinged with an unsettling air.
"They are saying things, like, about me eating lunch with you every day."
I said it, watching her reaction.
She didn't move a muscle, her eyes fixed on the green-tinted part of the bread where the cucumber had soaked through.
"If people think weirdly about us, that would be bad for you, wouldn't it, Yanami-san?"
Growing uneasy with her silence, I continued.
"You have got so many friends. You don't need someone like me-"
"Hey, I'm kind of losing track of this conversation."
Yanami interrupted, closing her lunchbox.
"Did I say or do something to make you mad?"
"Of course not!"
The loudness of my voice startled even me. Shaking my head, I quickly rephrased.
"…No, that's not it. It's not that at all."
"Are you sure?"
I couldn't meet Yanami's gaze and looked away.
I'm the one who can't stand it.
The Yanami I got to know still likes Hakamada.
And that Yanami is right in front of me.
That's why I can't accept this false version of her. Or the rumors that don't reflect her true feelings.
"The fact that these kinds of rumors are spreading… I just… hate it."
I finally managed to get the words out, lowering my gaze to the half-eaten sandwich in my hand.
Yanami didn't reply.
As I searched for something else to say, feeling like I had to fill the silence, Yanami placed her lunchbox on my lap.
"…I get it. Yeah, I understand."
She cut off the conversation firmly, her tone decisive.
"I won't talk to you anymore from now on."
Yanami stood up, her words sharp and final.
"Thanks for everything. It was kind of fun, I guess. Bye."
Leaving no room for argument, she pressed the lunchbox into my hands and disappeared down the staircase.
…It's all over, just like that.
Yanami didn't even look back at me in the end.
Maybe I had been hoping she would, just once.
Left alone on the staircase, I opened the lunchbox.
Today's lunch is neatly packed homemade sandwiches. For a touch of color, there are two small cherry tomatoes tucked into the corner.
She must have prepared it early in the morning for our lunchtime together.
Three days before the closing ceremony. It was only then that I realized how much I had already lost.
*
Dinner barely went down, and I lay sprawled on my bed.
How many times had I replayed today's lunchtime conversation in my mind?
…This is for the best.
Yanami and I, were we even really friends, let alone anything more? We lived in entirely different worlds. It's hard to imagine our connection continuing as it had.
And most of all, I didn't want her to be spoken of poorly because of me-
"You seem a little down, onii-sama. Did something happen at school?"
Caught in an endless loop of thoughts, like I was stuck in a dead-end, I didn't notice until Kaju had curled up next to me, lying down with a soft thud.
"…Kaju, you know it's not okay to just climb into your brother's bed without permission."
Still staring blankly at the ceiling, I gave a halfhearted scolding without any energy to really argue.
Kaju giggled and poked at my cheek.
"Hehe. Could it be… that you got rejected?"
"Well, something like that, I guess."
Kaju's aura immediately turned murderous at my offhand reply.
"Onii-sama! Kaju knew something wasn't right these days!"
"Wait, no, no, it's just a figure of speech. I don't even have anyone like that."
For a moment, Yanami's unguarded smile floated into my mind. I turned away, avoiding Kaju's questioning gaze.
"Could it be that cute girl who was grilling meat with you at the campsite?"
"Wait, how do you even know about her!?"
I shot up from the bed in surprise, and Kaju looked at me with a mischievous grin.
"Finally, you're looking at Kaju."
"Were you there? How much did you see?"
"Well… tell Kaju more about her, and you might get an answer."
She playfully pressed her finger to her lips.
"Or, you know, forcing Kaju to spill might be an option too?"
Ignoring Kaju's teasing, I lay back down on the bed.
"Listen, she's just a classmate and a member of my club. Besides, she already likes someone else."
"Then… the short-haired girl, right? Kaju thinks someone cheerful like her would suit you."
"She's also just a classmate. And she also already likes someone else."
Kaju thought for a moment before clapping her hands.
"Then maybe the mature-looking girl with glasses? Though it felt like there was some drama with her…"
"She's dating our club president."
"There was one more, kind of plain-looking…"
Kaju's expression clouded slightly.
"But… if it's someone you chose, onii-sama… Kaju will do my best to accept her."
What is this conversation even about? One thing is clear. Kaju has seen quite a lot.
"For the last time, it's not like that! I'm just tired from the camp."
Turning away from Kaju, I muttered.
"I'm going to rest for a bit. Kaju, you should head back to your own room."
"No way! Kaju won't budge until you tell me who your real crush is. Kaju has to make sure they are good enough for you, onii-sama- kya!"
I threw a towel blanket over Kaju and wrapped her up snugly. That should quiet her down a bit.
"…Right now, Kaju is enveloped in onii-sama's scent."
My little sister is saying some truly unsettling things.
"Kaju can feel all of your emotions through this blanket, onii-sama. Rest assured, Kaju will find you the perfect partner-"
Instead, she became even noisier.
Adding another blanket over her, I resumed my thoughts.
My choices, my actions, and my final conversation with Yanami-
I kept grappling with these wordless emotions, unable to reach any clear answer.
<Current Loan Balance: 0 yen>
*
The next day, two days before the closing ceremony.
A lonely lunch break. Life has returned to its usual routine.
At the now-familiar emergency staircase, I ate a simple meal of a tuna bun and milk. Afterward, I worked on the continuation of my novel on my phone, timing my return to the classroom with the bell.
Though it has only been a single day since our lunch meetings ended, it already feels like a distant memory. Did Yanami and I really spend so many lunchtimes together?
I sat at my desk, speaking to no one, glancing occasionally at the clock until the bell rang.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her laughing and chatting happily with her friends in the classroom.
"How's it going, Nukkun? You seem a little down."
Yakishio's voice broke into my solitude. She crouched beside my desk, leaning her elbows on it and tilting her head to look up at me.
"Don't worry. I'm always low-energy."
Yakishio, I appreciate your concern, but I'm currently mired in my own problems. No matter how cute you are, I can't let myself be distracted-
"Hmm. For someone so low-energy, you sure seem to be keeping your eyes on someone."
…This girl. Saying things like that in the classroom.
As I struggled for words, Yakishio flashed a tanned smile and stood up.
"I don't know what's going on, but if you don't talk things out properly, you're going to regret it."
"…Regret?"
Repeating the word like a parrot, I felt a sharp slap on my back. Yakishio grinned, flashing her white teeth.
"It's advice from your senpai."
A heavy, heartfelt remark.
*
After school that day, I wandered down an empty hallway toward the clubroom.
I realized something now that our lunch meetings were over. School days suddenly felt oddly long.
Until yesterday, I had been thinking about lunch from the moment I woke up, and after it was over, I would find myself reflecting on it. Compared to that, today, I feel like an empty shell.
"…What am I, a pet dog or something?"
The only thing left on my school schedule are my club activities after school.
It's not much more than an excuse to hear Komari's snide remarks while avoiding the crowded shoe racks.
When I turned the doorknob to the clubroom, it was unlocked. Usually, either Komari or I would be the first to arrive.
Is she here already?
Without much thought, I opened the door- and froze in place.
"Yanami-san."
Anna Yanami is standing there.
Her hand, which had been reaching for a book on the shelf, fell back to her side. Her unreadable eyes shifted toward me.
"Oh, Nukumizu-kun. It's been a while."
It hasn't even been a day. Just this morning, we were in the same classroom. But I couldn't find any better words to say.
"So, you came… Are you here for club activities?"
"I just came to return a book. I've got plans with some friends, so I'm leaving now."
Yanami averted her gaze as she slung her bag over her shoulder.
She started walking toward the door, her back to me. Watching her go, I realized something.
It wasn't logical. It wasn't something I could explain or put into words. But I understood one thing clearly.
If I don't say something right now, I won't get a chance to connect with her again.
"Yanami-san, wait a second."
"…What is it? Make it quick. My friends are waiting."
Without turning around, Yanami answered quietly. Her tone made me hesitate for a moment.
"If you don't have anything to say, I-"
"Hold on, Yanami-san."
My mind is filled with the regret and hesitation of Yanami, of Yakishio, of everyone who had struggled to express their feelings.
"For the past while, we have been eating lunch together every day… and I guess I really started looking forward to it."
I thought of Komari's bravery and the strength it took to speak up, even knowing her feelings wouldn't reach their destination.
"So-"
"So?"
Yanami's voice cut in sharply.
So… what?
Of course, we aren't a couple. We aren't even close enough to call each other friends.
Ours was a fragile connection, bound only by the borrowed money.
"I just… I just wanted to say that I enjoyed it. That's all."
Yanami stood still, her hand gripping the doorknob tightly.
After a long moment, when all the time we needed had passed between us.
"…I see."
Her tone was flat, emotionless. She quietly opened the door.
Backlit by the light from the hallway, she turned slightly, but I couldn't make out her expression.
"Well then… I'm going now."
*
The next day arrived, and I couldn't bring myself to focus on anything. Tomorrow is the closing ceremony.
The classroom has a restless energy, with summer vacation just around the corner. Even Amanatsu-sensei attempting to hand out report cards during morning homeroom was taken in stride as a joke.
It's the last lunch break of the term. By now, it has become routine for me to pass the time on the emergency staircase. I sat there, munching on a curry bread while gazing out at the schoolyard.
With the temperature over 35 degrees, lunchtime practices are banned. Even so, I spotted Yakishio running on the track, only to be escorted off by the PE teacher.
"What is she even doing…?"
The dry wind from the field stung my eyes. Brushing the dust off my bread, I suddenly heard the sound of footsteps coming from below.
I straightened my back, unsure why.
"T-There you are."
Before I could stop myself, I found myself expecting something.
But it was Chika Komari who appeared, unceremoniously plopping down beside me.
"What's up, Komari?"
"Y-You're the one w-who told me to e-eat here."
Ah, that's right. My past self just had to say something unnecessary.
"A-And besides, I heard you got r-r-rejected."
She could barely hold her grin in.
"I thought… s-serves you right or something, and I couldn't help but come here."
I really want to shove a bunch of wrapping papers into her mouth.
"How do you even know about that?"
"I-If you're going to make a s-scene like that in the club room, i-it's obvious e-everyone would find out."
"Anyway, it's not even like that between Yanami-san and me."
"Y-You're so bad at l-letting things go."
Komari pulled a butter roll from a paper bag and began munching on it. It's the kind they sell at supermarkets in six-packs for cheap.
"A-And besides, you think y-you could just w-waltz off and be the only h-happy one? S-So arrogant."
"Yeah, well, didn't you just get rejected recently?"
"S-Shut up!"
To an outsider, I guess all of this must look like some kind of romantic drama.
But it's not. That wasn't romance. So then, what was it? I couldn't help but let out a wry smile.
…In the end, I was never anything to Yanami. Now that the debt was repaid, even the temporary connection we had was gone. That's all there was to it.
The thought drained my appetite, so I stuffed my half-eaten curry bread back into its bag.
"That's all you're having for lunch?"
Looking over, I saw her gnawing on a second butter roll, wincing as she ate. Did she not even bring a drink? Without thinking, I handed her the carton of milk I had bought from the vending machine.
"Here, take this. You're going to choke if you don't drink something."
"C-Can I really have it? W-What about you?"
"I've got a water bottle with tea in it. I'm fine."
"Full-fat milk…"
Her eyes sparkled as she stuck the straw into the carton. Watching her made me feel like I was feeding a stray cat.
Still, giving food to strays isn't responsible. You either keep your distance or take full responsibility and adopt them.
Noticing my gaze, Komari shot me a wary look.
"I-If you're thinking of t-taking it back, it's t-too late."
…Ah, that reminds me.
My house doesn't allow pets.
*
As expected, my conversation with Komari didn't really go anywhere, and I left the old school building with half of the lunch break still remaining.
Well, I'll let Komari have the emergency staircase to herself today.
"Nukumizu, there you are. I've been looking for you. –Hey, wait a second!"
"...Huh, what?"
At first, I didn't realize someone was talking to me and nearly walked past.
The one calling out to me is Sosuke Hakamada, the guy Yanami's in love with.
Huh. Why are so many people bothering me today?
"Sorry, but this isn't something I want to talk about in front of others. Could you come over here for a second?"
Following his lead, I found myself behind the old school building, a quiet, secluded spot.
Wait. This situation… Oh, I see. It must be that.
"Nukumizu, sorry about this, but what I want to talk about is-"
Before he could finish, I silently held out my wallet.
"Why are you pulling out your wallet?"
"Oh, uh… I thought that was where this was going."
Realizing my mistake, I quickly put the wallet back. Right. This isn't that kind of situation.
"So you're the kind of guy who cracks jokes, huh?"
Hakamada chuckled, thankfully brushing it off as humor.
Okay, then what does he want? Hakamada looked around hesitantly as if unsure how to start.
"Nukumizu… you've been spending time with Anna lately, haven't you?"
Anna. Ah, he means Yanami.
"Wait, what? I mean, yeah, maybe…"
Seeing my flustered reaction, Hakamada's expression softened.
"Don't try to hide it. There has been talk about a couple hanging out near the old school building, saying things like 'marry me' and all that. It's kind of a rumor now."
What the hell is that? That's such a misunderstanding.
"No, no, no, that's not it! I mean… it's not entirely wrong, but the foundation is completely different!"
"Don't be shy. Since when did this start happening?"
No, it's not like that at all. And why did he call me out here in the first place?
Is this one of those "stay away from my childhood friend" situations?
Hakamada, the star athlete who always stands out in PE, clearly has the physical advantage. If this turns into a fight, I don't stand a chance. Still, I'm a guy, after all. I can probably last at least 2 seconds-
"Take care of Anna for me!"
Hakamada suddenly bowed deeply.
…Huh? What? What is this? What am I being asked to do?
"Hold on! There's definitely some kind of misunderstanding here."
"It just makes me happy, you know? If Anna has found someone she likes, I want to support her."
"No, that's not-"
Why isn't this guy listening to me? Is he hard of hearing? Is he a main character?
"Sorry. I don't know much about you, so I wanted to talk for a bit."
"Oh, uh, sure, but…"
The thing is, Hakamada has already rejected Yanami. Maybe this whole misunderstanding doesn't really matter.
But still… what is this feeling? This frustration?
Hakamada looked at me with a completely genuine smile, free of malice.
"If you're up for it, maybe we could all hang out sometime-"
"No, seriously, wait a second."
"Oh, my bad. I've been doing all the talking, huh?"
That's not the issue here.
…Yeah, that's right. Right now, there's only one thing that really matters.
With a mix of determination and frustration, I stepped closer to Hakamada.
"...Yanami-san has liked you for a long time, hasn't she?"
"Whoa, what? Where's this coming from…?"
"You knew, didn't you? That she liked you?"
Why am I, someone who isn't even friends with Yanami, having this conversation with the guy who rejected her?
Hakamada averted his eyes awkwardly, scratching his nose in embarrassment.
"Well, yeah, I kinda figured. That's why I thought maybe it would be good if she found someone new to like."
"She still likes you! Even now! Present tense! Letting a misunderstanding erase that isn't right!"
I blurted it out in a rush. But now what? Where's this conversation even supposed to go? Oh, right, there's one more thing I need to clarify.
"…Also, it's not like that between me and Yanami-san."
"Then why were you eating lunch together?"
Because you rejected her at that family restaurant while eating a steak set, that's why. At least if Yanami hadn't ordered udon for dessert, none of this would've happened.
In other words-
"Probably because you two ate way too much."
"Huh? What are you even talking about?"
Once again, the conclusion of the conversation slipped away.
"No, it's nothing. Don't worry about it."
Still, this guy is such a hassle. Is this what it would actually be like to deal with a rom-com protagonist in real life?
While I was busy mentally putting him up on that shelf, Hakamada's expression suddenly froze.
What's with that look? Like he had just run into a wild bear or something-
Following his gaze, I saw a girl standing there, her entire body quivering.
"A-Anna!"
"So, uh, you two… What exactly have you been talking about this whole time?"
Her face was bright red, either from anger or embarrassment, as she glared daggers at the both of us.
"Yanami-san, why are you here!?"
"Komari-chan sent me a message. She said you were being cornered by some cool-looking delinquent or something about things getting hot. I didn't get it, but I thought I would check just in case-"
Yanami's eyes darted between Hakamada and me, disbelief written all over her face.
"…So, what's going on?"
Good question. I'm not sure, either. And I have no idea what this "hot" thing Komari talked about is.
"And you, Nukumizu-kun. What exactly were you saying to Sosuke just now?"
"Um, uh, I was saying that the limited-edition Garigari-kun Choco Mint flavor is, uh, delicious!"
"…Let's be honest now. If you come clean, I'll forgive you. For now."
That's a lie. Her eyes are those of a stone-cold assassin.
I have a feeling everything is already exposed, but admitting it outright isn't an option. In this country, for some reason, you often get lighter consequences for being found out later rather than confessing upfront.
"Wait, Anna. It's my fault. I pressed him for everything. Nukumizu's not to blame."
Oh great, Hakamada just had to step in with an unnecessary comment.
Yanami's legs started shaking uncontrollably.
"Everything? What do you mean by everything!?"
At this point, Yanami's trembling is beyond chihuahua level. She is entering a dangerous territory. Hakamada, as if to calm her down, placed his hand gently on her shoulder.
"Sorry, Anna. I just thought it would be nice if you found someone new to love."
"Huh?"
Finally grasping the situation, Yanami's face turned pale.
"…Don't. Don't say things like that."
The intensity Yanami had just moments ago disappeared entirely, and her body seemed smaller, almost fragile. Unaware, Hakamada stepped even closer to her.
"I just want you to be happy. To find someone better than me-"
"Stop-"
Yanami's strength seemed to drain away completely. At that moment, my body moved on its own. I grabbed Hakamada's hand and stepped between them.
"Enough already!"
I know I'm out of place. This isn't my fight.
But even so-
"Listen, Hakamada! Rejecting someone is fine! You can turn down Yanami-san or anyone else as much as you like. It's your choice!"
This time, I could practically feel Yanami's glare aiming to kill me.
"But deciding Yanami-san's feelings for her- that's not okay! You're erasing the fact that she liked you just like that!"
The feelings I had been stewing over poured out into words.
"Saying you want her to be happy or to find a new love- don't be the one to say that! You, the one who rejected her, don't get to say that!"
…Damn it. Even up close, Hakamada is ridiculously good-looking.
It's not just his appearance. He's kind to everyone, never arrogant, and even now, he's not at fault. It's me who's losing it.
Unlike him, my connection with Yanami was brief and shallow. I wasn't anyone special to her, nor was I close to her.
But even so, I was the one who had seen her tears and her brave face up close.
"Just quietly let her move on as her friend! Don't drag her into your guilt because you feel bad about rejecting her!"
Shouting, which I wasn't used to, left me coughing violently.
Hakamada patted my back, looking genuinely concerned.
"Hey, are you okay?"
"Y-Yeah… I'm fine…"
…God, I must have looked so lame, acting on impulse like that.
If I were as appealing as Hakamada, could I have faced Yanami head-on?
Suddenly, all the tension left my body, leaving me utterly drained.
"…Yeah. Nukumizu, you're right."
"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry for going off on you like that."
As I apologized, Hakamada extended his hand toward me. Hesitantly, I reached out as well-
"Stop saying I got rejected already!"
With that shout, I was shoved backward.
"What's with you two trying to wrap this up all nicely!? Don't just come to some tidy conclusion on your own! What's wrong with you!? Got tapioca for brains or something!?"
"Uh, um…"
Yanami came at us full throttle, her words hitting like a barrage.
The first victim was Hakamada. She grabbed him by the front of his shirt with both hands and pulled his face close to hers.
"I've liked you for so long, Sosuke! I still like you! I'm not over it at all!"
"Anna, I'm sor-"
"Don't apologize! My 'next love' is none of your business!"
Yanami's large eyes brimmed with twelve years' worth of feelings as she buried her face in Hakamada's chest.
"I still love you so much! So go ahead and be happy with Karen Himemiya! Just go and be happy without asking me!"
Her voice, choked with tears, filled the air as she stayed still, clinging to Hakamada for a moment longer.
…Should I even be here right now?
As I tried to gauge the right moment to slip away, Yanami finally pulled her face away from Hakamada's chest.
"And I'll keep loving you on my own terms! Someday, I'll move on and love someone else on my own terms, too!"
Seemingly resolved, Yanami suddenly let go of Hakamada and shoved him back.
Then, as if searching for her next target, her head creaked toward me like a predator locking onto prey. Terrifying.
"Nukumizu-kun! So, what were you and I talking about again!?"
"Uh, well, I mean, nothing in particular?"
"Exactly! Nothing in particular!"
With a bonk, Yanami smacked me on the head. It hurt.
"So, uh, why did you hit me just now-"
"No reason at all!"
Wait, what? That makes no sense. As I stood there, confused and unsure, Yanami jabbed a finger into my chest, pushing me back as she closed in aggressively.
"Look, maybe you did it out of consideration for me, but! Deciding things about other people's relationships and acting on them without asking? Don't just charge ahead like that! Get proper consensus beforehand!"
"I thought maybe I shouldn't talk to you…"
Yanami gave me a look that was pure exasperation.
"Just go ahead and talk to me! Do what you want!"
"Wait, really?"
"Do you need permission to talk to someone at school!? What kind of world do you live in!?"
But wouldn't it be bad to just casually talk to girls? In my life experience, that was a recipe for trouble. Completely guilty territory.
"I mean, wouldn't it just bother you if I talked to you?"
"That's for me to decide! And honestly, I don't even know what other people think half the time either!"
Uh… well… I guess… yeah, that might be true…
I mean, sure, I'm awkward and a loner, but…
Being with someone or being alone, talking or staying silent, all of that is up to me. And how the other person reacts, whether they accept or reject it, is up to them.
"So basically… it's okay if I talk to you, Yanami-san?"
"Depends on the time and place!"
Fair enough. I couldn't help but smile a little, which made Yanami give me a suspicious look.
"Wait, why do you look kind of happy? That's creepy, Nukumizu-kun."
"Well, you know… just a little. Thanks, Yanami-san. For everything."
"...You're such a weirdo."
She muttered with a sigh, shaking her head like she couldn't believe me.
"Anyway, you both need to reflect on this!"
"Yes, ma'am!" (x2)
Our synchronized response created a rare moment of understanding between Hakamada and me.
"Now, Sosuke, properly apologize to Nukumizu-kun."
Why me? I wasn't sure, but Hakamada bowed his head slightly in my direction.
"Sorry, Nukumizu. For dragging you into this mess."
"Oh, no, it's fine."
I stammered, feeling awkward. What even is this exchange?
"And now, Nukumizu-kun, you apologize to me."
"Huh?"
I had no idea what for, but it seemed wise to just go along with it.
"Sorry. I won't say anything careless again."
"Good. Apology accepted."
Yanami crossed her arms and nodded, clearly satisfied.
…Then, tilting her head curiously, she added.
"So, uh… how are we wrapping this up?"
Good question. The three of us exchanged glances. Just then, the warning bell for the end of lunch rang.
Wiping away the tears still clinging to her lashes, Yanami gave us a bright smile.
"For now, let's head back to class, okay? Turn right, both of you!"
We turned on our heels, propelled by her energy. Then, with a smack on our backs, she darted between us and ran ahead.
"Hurry up, you two, or we'll be late!"
"Let's go, Nukumizu."
"Yeah…"
We exchanged wry smiles and jogged side by side, chasing after Yanami's retreating figure.
*
The next day is the final day of the first term.
After the closing ceremony, our classroom was abuzz with excitement. Amanatsu-sensei stood at the teacher's podium, raising her voice to address us.
"Alright, come up in attendance number order and pick these up!"
I received my report card from Amanatsu-sensei, who still gave off the vibe that she barely matched names to faces. Sitting back at my desk, I opened it.
My first high school grades are average—neither particularly good nor bad. What caught my eye, though, was the comment section.
"Actively participates in committee activities."
…Who did she confuse me with? Does this mean someone else got a note saying, "Seems to lack friends in class. How are they doing at home?" Guess they are having a family meeting tonight.
Propping my chin on my hand, I watched my classmates cheerfully compare report cards.
Over at her desk, Yakishio, who I expected to be making a racket, had her head buried in her arms, clutching it like she was in despair. Looks like she'll be having a family meeting, too.
"Nukumizu, you're good at Japanese and math, huh?"
The voice came from Hakamada, peering over my shoulder at my report card.
"Oh, uh… yeah. But the rest of my grades are nothing special."
"Man, I'm stuck with math remedial classes. Having to come to school during summer break? Kill me now."
"Huh. I didn't know you weren't in any clubs, Hakamada."
Surprising. My affection points for him went up by +1.
"I'm in a climbing team outside of school, so I can't really join any school clubs."
Wait, what? So not only does he dominate at school, but he's also involved in something like that outside of school? All of his affection points just got obliterated in an instant.
"Well, let's all go to karaoke sometime!"
With that, he walked over to Himemiya's desk. It's hard not to admire how effortlessly he says such everyday social things. Genuine extroverts really do have great personalities, even if they are utterly oblivious at times.
My eyes drifted toward Yanami. Laughing and teasing with her friends about whether or not to show their report cards, she looked like her usual self.
"Alright, everyone, settle down once you have had your fun! Summer vacation won't start until you're all in your seats!"
At the perfect time, Amanatsu-sensei's booming voice filled the room.
As everyone reluctantly shuffled back to their seats, Amanatsu-sensei waited for the noise to die down. Then, with her petite frame, she spoke with an unusual seriousness.
"Let me impart some wisdom for your summer vacation."
She cleared her throat dramatically.
Her rare, serious tone captured everyone's attention.
"You have got about 40 days ahead of you. Don't just waste them. Spend them with a sense of purpose. Each day connects to the next, and what you do now can influence things as soon as your college entrance exams two years from now."
For once, Amanatsu-sensei was saying something sensible. With a serious mood settling over the room, we waited for her next words. She continued in a heavy tone.
"There are always those students who say, 'Oh, teachers must love summer vacation because it's so long.' or something like that."
It seemed she had recalled some painful memory as she suddenly slammed her fist against the lectern.
"First of all, it's just regular workdays! We're public servants! Besides, we have remedial classes, prep for research lessons, creating teaching materials, meetings, study groups, club activity trips, and tidying up school affairs. If I don't finish all of that during this time-"
Out poured a torrent of teacher grievances. The classroom fell silent, like the air had been sucked out of it.
"By the second semester, I'll have turned into a VTuber, and you'll all go broke from the data costs!"
I'm switching to a flip phone if that happens.
"Do you know what it's like to take a day off during Obon and have people give you dirty looks? And if I take time off during another period, it's, 'Oh, it must be nice to have free time when everyone else is so busy.', you know!?"
This was no longer a lecture. This was pure venting. Sensei, this isn't something you should be telling your students.
"So, listen up! Summer vacation! The Obon class reunion is my big moment! Don't ruin my precious PTO with delinquency or misconduct! And stick to your assigned order of importance!"
…Sensei, what are you talking about?
But in the end, we're just a bunch of teenagers. Completely overwhelmed by her energy, we all remained silent.
After catching her breath, Amanatsu-sensei slammed the attendance sheet onto the lectern, letting out a sharp, dry sound.
"I've said my piece. Think of it as advice from an older sibling. Alright, you're dismissed! Summer vacation starts now!"
*
And so, the term came to an end.
Glancing at my watch, I saw it wasn't even noon yet.
I had escaped the chaos and was sitting on the emergency staircase of the old school building, watching the clouds, now tinged with summer's warmth. Most club activities are on break today, leaving the school grounds sparsely populated.
Fiddling with the milk carton I had bought out of habit, I wondered what to do next.
I remembered the new volume of <The Adventurer's Twin Sister Who Left on a Journey Came Back as a Delinquent Gal> was out. I could pick that up first, then relax at a family restaurant-
"A-Ah, there you are."
I half-expected it, perhaps pushed by the festive air of the day. Komari appeared, lowering her heavy-looking bag to the floor.
"What's up? Not heading home?"
"I-I just thought I w-would kill some time."
Komari said, rummaging around in her bag before pulling out a butter roll. Probably leftover from yesterday.
I handed her my unopened milk carton.
"Here, take it. I haven't touched it yet."
"E-Eh, I-I wasn't expecting it or anything…"
Despite her words, her eyes sparkled with excitement.
"T-Today it's the luxury one… the one that costs 10 yen more…"
How did she even notice that? It's oddly satisfying seeing her so easy to please.
"It's the end of term, after all."
"...S-Still, I feel bad. H-Here."
She held out her hand, offering me a small pile of coins, mostly 1-yen and 10-yen pieces.
"Huh? It's fine, really."
"B-But Nukumizu, d-didn't that guy take your m-money yesterday?"
"He didn't take anything."
"T-Then did he t-take s-something else from y-you?!"
Why does she look so excited about this? Why is she getting fired up over nothing?
"He didn't take my heart or body, either!"
Well… okay, maybe he took half my heart.
Did she sense my hesitation? Komari peered up at me with a grin I had never seen before, looking oddly pleased.
"I-I knew it! I-I had a feeling there w-was something s-suspicious! S-So, since when?"
Her eyes sparkled, and her cheeks flushed.
Wait, hold on. She looks…kind of cute right now. What she's saying is absolutely insane, though.
"Staring at me isn't going to make anything come out. Just eat your bread already."
"E-Ehehe… I-I'm not letting such a j-juicy story slip away!"
I have officially been outed by a dangerous person. Maybe I could get Tsukinoki-senpai to knock some sense into her- no, that would definitely backfire.
As I was floundering, a carefree, cheerful voice called out from below. It was Yakishio.
"Oh wow, so there's a spot like this! The breeze feels so nice!"
Climbing up the stairs, Yakishio turned to face us and immediately did a double-take.
"Whoa, this is bad, Yana-chan. They look like they are getting cozy!"
…Really? How does it look like that?
…And wait, did she just say "Yana-chan"?
"I don't know what's going on, but it should be fine. It's Nukumizu-kun we're talking about, after all."
With that rude remark, Yanami herself appeared, stepping onto the staircase.
"Huh, Yanami-san. What are you doing here?"
"What do you mean, what am I doing here? I found this place first, you know."
Yanami, now standing on the landing, gave me a mischievous grin.
"Oh no, am I interrupting something?"
"Don't be ridiculous. If anything, I should move somewhere else."
"Come on, we're both single, so let's get along."
Yanami's tone was completely teasing. Hearing our exchange, Yakishio's eyes lit up.
"Huh? Nukkun, is there something going on with you too? Like, right now? Right now?"
Why does she look so excited? Yakishio, this is why I don't like this part of you.
"More importantly, what are the two of you doing up here together?"
"I had some time to kill before my track club meeting, so I asked Yana-chan to show me her secret hideout."
Yakishio leaned over the railing, staring out at the school grounds. She seemed to have a thing for high places. Hey, don't fall off.
Yanami stood next to me, maintaining that awkwardly precise distance, not too close, not too far.
"Nukumizu-kun, is the Literature Club doing anything over summer break?"
"Uh… Tsukinoki-senpai mentioned getting everyone together to do something, but nothing's set yet."
Balancing her stomach against the railing, Yakishio raised her hand enthusiastically.
"That sounds fun! Invite me too! It's summer, so let's catch cicadas or something!"
Do you seriously want to catch cicadas? Really?
From beach trips to barbecues and now summer vacation plans? This feels way too lively for the Literature Club. It hardly fits the stereotypical image of gloomy rooms and quiet, solitary writing sessions.
As I watched Yakishio kick her legs happily, Yanami edged half a step closer to me.
"Hey, I had fun at that training camp. I'm looking forward to whatever we do next."
"Yeah, but… with Prez and Tsukinoki-senpai officially together now, I feel like I would just be crashing the party if I showed up."
"Ugh, come on. The whole reason it was fun was because everyone was there. Including you, Nukumizu-kun."
Yanami said it with an exasperated tone, making me glance away awkwardly.
"Well… yeah, I guess. But, um… about that…"
"Hmm? About what?"
"It's not really a big deal. Never mind, forget it…"
…Komari, who had been watching us with interest, gave a subtle nod after I winked at her.
She then tugged on Yakishio's uniform sleeve, motioning to her.
"Huh? What's up, Komari-chan?"
Faced with Yakishio's direct gaze, Komari fumbled with her phone before speaking up.
"Uh, um… I-I was thinking… maybe I should s-start running or s-something."
Komari averted her gaze, quietly slipping her phone back into her pocket.
"I-I would like to learn p-proper form…"
For a moment, Yakishio looked surprised, her eyes widening. Then she smiled and grabbed Komari's hands enthusiastically.
"Leave it to me!"
"Eek!?"
"Let's aim to break 12 seconds for the 100 meters together!"
"Eh? I-I was thinking more about longer d-distances, actually…"
"Oh, that's perfect! I've got this thing called the Yakishio Method."
"Y-Yakishio…M-Method?"
Komari's expression stiffened. The ominous name alone didn't inspire confidence.
"If you can sprint 100 meters at full speed, then doing it 15 times means you can handle 1,500 meters the same way, right? I'm in the middle of proving it works!"
"T-Then maybe something more for beginners… l-like rehab-level e-exercise…"
"In that case, let's use Yakishio Method #2! If you run all day long, 1,500 meters will start to feel like just 100 meters. Let's go for a quick jog!"
As Komari was dragged off by Yakishio, she muttered something to me in passing.
"...Y-You owe me one."
Got it. I'll make sure to have a liter of milk ready for next time.
Yanami watched them disappear down the stairs.
"Those two seem to get along well, don't they?"
"Hmm… yeah, I guess they do."
This particular misunderstanding didn't seem worth correcting.
"It's kind of funny, though."
Yanami murmured thoughtfully.
"What is?"
Leaning her elbows on the railing, Yanami tilted her head, looking at me curiously.
"Well, I mean, Komari-chan and you and me didn't really have any connection before, right? And I didn't even know what the Literature Club actually did until we went on that training camp."
Seriously? How did she even end up coming to the camp?
"When I tried writing a story, though, it was surprisingly fun. And the books Komari-chan recommended turned out to be really good. Novels are pretty great, aren't they?"
Yanami gazed at the students playing on the field below, her expression soft, almost tender.
Well, if she's able to find some positivity through the Literature Club, that's a good thing. After all, quality reading experiences can enrich both your mind and your life-
"When I'm reading, I can forget all the harsh realities of life. And in a novel, everything goes exactly the way I want it to."
Correction: that's as pessimistic as it gets.
"Uh, Yanami-san, maybe try not to overthink things. How about spending your summer vacation at a monastery or going to a fasting retreat?"
Yanami waved her hands in front of her face in an exaggerated manner.
"Wait, no! I'm not overthinking anything! And fasting? That's totally out of the question! Fasting is a no-go, Nukumizu-kun!"
A strong aversion to fasting. That's a relief. It's the usual Yanami.
I was worried that things might be awkward after everything with Hakamada yesterday, but we were surprisingly able to talk normally.
Alright, this seems like the right moment-
"Hm? What's up?"
Yanami blinked her big eyes curiously. I placed my hand on my chest and took a deep breath.
"…Yanami-san, there's something I want to talk to you about."
"…Huh?"
Her response was completely flat.
After blinking twice, Yanami suddenly seemed to realize something and straightened her posture.
"Wha!? Talk? Right now!? Here!?"
"Yeah. We don't get many chances to talk like this, just the two of us."
Yanami, now flustered, began hurriedly adjusting her hair.
"Wait, wait, hold on! Nukumizu-kun, shouldn't you think this over a little more? You know, timing is crucial for stuff like this-"
"I've thought about it plenty. But if I don't say this now, I know I'll regret it."
Maybe she finally understood how serious I was.
Yanami finished fixing her hair, adjusted her uniform collar, ribbon, and skirt hem in that order, and then cutely cleared her throat with a small cough.
"Uh, uh, okay… I-I'll at least listen."
Seeing her suddenly act so formally made me even more nervous. Taking another deep breath, I turned to face Yanami directly.
"Yanami-san. Will you…"
"...Y-Yes?"
My mouth went dry from the tension.
Summoning the last of my courage, I stepped half a pace closer to Yanami. Her shoulders visibly flinched.
"Will you be my friend!?" "Sorry, I only think of you as a friend!"
Our words overlapped unexpectedly.
…Silence fell.
A single blue rock thrush landed on the railing, singing a melancholic tune.
Finally, the stiffness in the air seemed to ease. Yanami tilted her head slightly, breaking the stillness.
"…Friend?"
I nodded firmly.
"...Yeah."
"............"
Yanami leaned onto the railing with both elbows, letting out a long, long sigh.
"…So, that's what you meant."
Her voice was so quiet it blended with the sound of the blue rock thrush taking off.
…Wait, what's with this atmosphere? Does this need an explanation?
"Well, I mean, you've already paid me back all the money you borrowed, and we're not eating lunch together anymore. Sure, we're classmates and in the same club, but, you know, as friends-"
I kept rambling, gesturing wildly in an attempt to clarify myself. Then, finally, I realized something important.
"…Huh? Wait a second, Yanami-san."
"I've been waiting for a while now, you know?"
"Didn't I just get rejected even though I wasn't confessing?"
"Ehh, yeah, I guess you were kind of rejected."
Yanami nodded knowingly and placed a hand on my shoulder.
"Welcome to the world of the rejected."
"I wasn't rejected, and I didn't confess in the first place. Aren't you overthinking this a bit, Yanami-san?"
Hearing that, Yanami looked a bit dissatisfied.
"Wait a second! The way that conversation went, it was totally set up like that, wasn't it? And I rejected it to complete the scene!"
"Yanami-san, calm down. Listen, a confession isn't something like that."
"…Am I seriously being lectured about love by you, Nukumizu-kun?"
Think about it logically. Yanami, who's 0 wins and 1 loss, versus me, who's 0 wins and 0 losses. Statistically, my track record in love is better. So, technically, I'm the one who has the upper hand when it comes to expertise.
"First of all, before confessing, you have got to spend two or three years as friends, right? You get to know each other, confirm your feelings, and then, finally, you invite them to a memorable spot for the confession. It's a process."
"…That sounds like a proposal."
Yeah, it kind of does.
"So, you're saying that in three years, you'll be proposing to me, Nukumizu-kun? Should I just reject you in advance?"
"I'm not doing that. Go ahead and cancel that reservation."
As usual, she's as rude as ever. The back-and-forth felt so normal I almost let it slide, but wait, what about my actual friend request?
"Uh… so… um…"
"Hm?"
"About the whole friends thing… what's the answer to that…?"
I couldn't help but mumble, my voice growing quieter.
"Why are you mumbling again…? I mean, aren't we already friends? The two of us."
"Huh… we're already friends?"
"What else would we be…?"
Leaning her elbows against the railing, Yanami gave me a soft, relaxed smile.
"…What? Why are you staring at my face like that?"
"This is why I don't like this part of you, Nukumizu-kun."
"What do you mean, Yanami-san?"
Instead of answering, Yanami giggled, clearly amused.
Awkwardly, I managed to force a smile, meeting her gaze.
…I still don't think there's anything inherently bad about being a loner.
How you choose to connect with others and spend your time is entirely up to you.
But I realized something. I really enjoy these moments, standing side by side with Yanami.
"Thank you, Yanami-san."
The words of gratitude came straight from my heart.
She raised her fist toward me.
"Let's keep sticking together, my fellow rejected comrade."
Laughing at her teasing tone, I bumped my fist lightly against hers.
"For the last time, I haven't been rejected."
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