Chapter 3: Give My Feelings a Name
[12/4/2026: Chapter re-translated.]
December 21st, Monday morning.
The sky was completely clear, making yesterday's rain seem like a lie.
Even though I arrived at school an hour earlier than usual, it was already "awake".
It wasn't just the sports clubs that were here early in the morning.
The sound of instruments leaking from the Music Room belonged to the Brand Band Club preparing for their upcoming competition.
Listening to that, I entered the west building and saw the lights on in the otherwise dead-silent Art Room.
The presence of students meant there were teachers around, too.
At the end of the west building, in front of the Literature Club Room. I checked my watch while stifling a yawn.
Usually, this was the time I would be kicking Kaju out of my room for trying to help me change my clothes.
I sensed someone inside. I went ahead and opened the door.
"Good morning, Nukumizu. It's been a while."
The one who lifted a sleepy face from his chemistry reference book was the former club president, Shintaro Tamaki.
He was an exam student in the final stretch and Tsukinoki-senpai's boyfriend.
"I heard the story from Koto yesterday. Sounds like you had a rough time with all sorts of things."
Tamaki-senpai said with a wry smile, leaving me no choice but to return one of my own.
"I'm sorry for keeping quiet. I should have told you sooner."
Last night, when I told him I wanted to meet and talk, he told me to come to the clubroom in the morning.
Tsukinoki-senpai and Shikiya-san. If anyone knew what had happened in the past between them, it was probably him.
"Koto probably told you to keep your mouth shut, right? Don't just stand there. Take a seat."
I sat down in the chair across from him.
"Lately, I've had my hands full with my own stuff, too."
Tamaki-senpai dropped his gaze back to his reference book, peeled off a sticky note, and placed it on the page.
"Come to think of it, you're switching to the science track, right? Can you make it in time for the exams?"
Switching tracks. Even though he was in a humanities class, he was taking exams for a science faculty.
Changing your career path in the second term of your third year is by no means easy. What's more, the university he was aiming for was the most difficult national university in the prefecture.
"Well, I did get an A on my recent mock exam. The fact that I was originally aiming for a national university is at least a saving grace."
"That's amazing. And what about Tsukinoki-senpai?"
Tamaki-senpai made a face like a wry smile stripped of any actual amusement.
"It seems she's applying to every private university in Nagoya that has the department she wants. Her mock exam scores are… well, they are alright."
Whichever way things went, the two of them would be taking separate paths come spring.
Not just Tsukinoki-senpai, but Tamaki-senpai must surely be feeling anxious as well.
Breaking up because of heading off to university is a story you hear all the time.
"I'm sorry for calling you out during such a difficult time."
"It's not your fault, Nukumizu, so don't apologize. I'll go talk to the teachers and the student council, so leave the matter of the confiscated doujinshi to me."
Saying so, he smiled as if to tell me not to worry.
Perhaps noticing my stiff expression as I tried to smile back, he frowned.
"What's wrong? Is there another problem?"
"The thing is, not only do the teachers and the student council president know nothing about the book, but the only one directly involved is the vice president."
A look of clear bewilderment appeared on Tamaki-senpai's face.
"The vice president... that's the first-year, Basori-san, right? Why is she acting alone?"
"It seems she has some kind of grudge against the Literature Club, or rather, against Tsukinoki-senpai."
Bright and early in the morning, I let out a heavy sigh.
"...When I tried to get the doujinshi back, she offered me a deal instead. She said she would return the book if I did her a favor."
"A favor? Sounds more like blackmail."
Not just "like" it, it's straight-up blackmail.
"Well, hear me out. The thing she asked for..."
"...Was?"
I paused for a moment and looked senpai straight in the face.
"...To settle things between Shikiya-san and Tsukinoki-senpai."
"Settle things... between her and Koto, huh."
At those words, senpai's expression changed. Confirming that, I leaned forward.
"What happened between those two?"
At my question, Tamaki-senpai closed his eyes and fell into deep thought.
Then, he slowly shook his head.
"...Sorry, but can you let me think about my answer to that for a bit?"
"Yes, understood."
What had happened between the two of them? No, judging from Tamaki-senpai's rather hesitant attitude…
I cut my thoughts short and let out a somewhat self-deprecating chuckle. Now was not the time to pry into that.
What I needed to think about now was how to resolve the situation.
"But I need your help, senpai. Could you lend me a hand?"
"I don't mind that, but do you have something in mind?"
"The only ones who can settle this issue are the people involved, right? I'm thinking of having the two of them meet and talk it out."
Tamaki-senpai gave me a bewildered look.
"Do you think they will honestly just agree to meet? Especially Koto."
"I don't, especially Tsukinoki-senpai."
Not to mention the two of them just clashed yesterday.
But if we do nothing now, the gap between them will never be bridged.
"Since their relationship has gone sour, they need some sort of excuse. Something out of the ordinary, or a common enemy. Unless there's some kind of catalyst..."
"I understand what you're saying, but what exactly do you plan to do?"
"Umm, I'll borrow this for a sec."
I took an eraser out of Tamaki-senpai's pencil case and placed it in the middle of the table.
"For example, let's say you arrange to meet up with Tsukinoki-senpai. And then, Shikiya-san also arranges to meet someone at the exact same time and place."
Next, I took off the cap of a highlighter and stood it up next to the eraser.
"And just as they notice each other, they will both get a message from the person they were supposed to meet. Saying they will be a little late, so please wait there."
"You're going to trick the two of them into meeting?"
"Rather, they have to realize that it was a setup. We need to become their 'common enemy'."
"...Shall we give it a try?"
Tamaki-senpai lightly tapped the eraser against the standing cap.
The cap rolled around, tracing a circle before returning to its original spot.
"It's a gamble whether it will actually go well, though."
"If they run away in that situation, then I guess things have already been 'settled'."
That might be true.
Reconciliation is just one possible outcome, not necessarily the correct answer.
And the condition presented by Tiara-san was to 'settle things'.
"Then the question is how we call those two out."
Senpai took out his smartphone and stared intently at the screen.
"This Thursday is Christmas Eve, right? In the evening, I'm supposed to meet up with Koto in front of the lights at the station, and we plan to go eat together."
Christmas, and the illuminations at the station.
"Are you making up for last year?"
The Christmas from one year ago, when the two of them weren't dating yet.
Tamaki-senpai had messed up a golden opportunity in front of the lights.
After many twists and turns, things worked out in the end, but a lot happened in the process. Yeah, a lot.
"How about you call Shikiya-san out there? That would clear the 'out of the ordinary' condition you mentioned, Nukumizu."
"But are you okay with that, senpai? Isn't this your first Christmas together since you started dating?"
"I won't compromise on dinner. Besides, Koto and I have next year, and the years after that, too."
Tamaki-senpai gave his usual smile, looking a little troubled.
"I don't know what Shikiya-san is thinking either. But I knew them back when they used to be close, so it would be a bit of a shame for it to end like this."
"Does it make you sad?"
"Rather, I guess I feel a sense of responsibility."
Responsibility. Before I had time to ask what he meant, senpai started packing up his things.
"Thursday at 18:00, in front of the illuminations on the station deck. Koto should be there, so Nukumizu, you call Shikiya-san out."
"Understood. Without letting her know Tsukinoki-senpai will be there, right?"
Even after Tamaki-senpai left, I stayed behind in the clubroom to organize my thoughts.
The night of the 24th, I'll call Shikiya-san out in front of the station illuminations. As for what comes after, I'll just have to figure it out on the day of.
Hm? Wait a minute. December 24th means…
I'm asking Shikiya-san out... on Christmas Eve.
*
"Well then, I'm off to supplementary lessons."
The clubroom after school. As Yakishio left with her shoulders slumped, it was just Komari and me left in the room.
Is it really okay for Yakishio, who's banned from club activities due to failing grades, to be coming in and out of the Literature Club Room? But then again, the Literature Club usually just lounges around in the room anyway…
Thinking about such things, I opened the calendar app on my phone.
…The plan is for the night of the 24th.
Today is the 21st, so I have to secure the meetup as soon as possible.
In other words, that means asking Shikiya-san out on a Christmas date-
"...No, it just happens to be the 24th. Yeah, that's right, there's no weird meaning behind it."
As I muttered to myself, trying to convince myself, Komari shot me a glare.
"W-What's wrong, Nukumizu? A-Are you seeing things?"
How rude. Sometimes the line between my delusions and reality gets a little blurry, but I'm perfectly healthy.
"I was just thinking about something, that's all. Come to think of it, Komari, on the night of Eve-"
As if cutting off my words, the clubroom door opened.
The one who timidly peeked her face in was Yanami.
"...Good afternoon. You two are right here together."
"What's wrong, acting all formal like that?"
"Uhh, I wanted to apologize to both of you."
Yanami awkwardly twirled a strand of hair around her fingertip.
An apology? As Komari and I exchanged glances, Yanami vigorously bowed her head toward us.
"I'm sorry about yesterday!"
"Eh, about what?"
"About Lemon-chan! I messed up giving her directions, so she ended up going to the karaoke place instead, right? Lemon-chan told me what happened, so I figured I had to apologize."
Ah, now that she mentioned it, that did happen. But it's Yakishio we're talking about.
"That might be true. But even if Yakishio had been at the board game cafe, the outcome probably wouldn't have changed much, right? In the first place, it was my fault for being late."
Komari nodded in agreement.
"B-Besides, I'm the one who told T-Tsukinoki-senpai that I was with a s-scary person."
That's certainly true. There wouldn't have been a fight if that person hadn't shown up in the first place.
"Then I guess we'll say it was Komari's fault."
"G-Go die."
But you said it yourself.
Still, it's rare for Yanami to be this remorseful.
Perhaps there was something I didn't know about, but I had no intention of blaming her for it right now.
"More importantly, Yanami-san. What are you doing on the night of the 24th?"
Yanami blinked in confusion at the sudden change of topic.
"Huh? I'm just planning to spend it normally with my family."
"There's an illumination in front of the station, right? I want you to come with me."
That's right, asking Shikiya-san out one-on-one is what makes it feel weird. If there's a group of us, there's no need to worry about that.
"Heh!? No, um, eh, are you serious? Eeh!?"
Yanami flusteredly looked back and forth between Komari's face and mine.
Even though it's my fault for suddenly inviting her, getting treated like such a nuisance is a little shocking…
"Sorry, if you can't make it, it's fine. Then- Komari."
"Una!?"
Komari gave a violent jolt when I asked her.
"If you're up for it, won't you hang out with me on the night of Christmas Eve?"
"G-Go die! D-Die like 5 times!"
Ehh…? What did I do? That was awfully harsh.
Well, maybe suddenly asking them to clear their schedule for Christmas Eve was too unreasonable.
"It can't be helped. Then maybe I'll ask Yakishio..."
As I said that and took out my phone-
"Ha?" (x2)
Yanami and Komari harmonized in a low voice, and then sandwiched me, sitting in my chair, from the left and right.
Eh, what's this, what's going on? Why are these two so on edge...?
Yanami crossed her arms and glared down at me.
"Nukumizu-kun, sit right there."
"Eh? I'm already sitting, though."
My flawless response didn't get through. Yanami pointed her thumb straight down.
"...On the floor."
Come again? Why do I have to do that?
"No, wait a second. Hey Komari, say something to her."
"S-Shut up."
Huh!? What's gotten into her, too?
Being looked at like I'm raw garbage… is a regular occurrence, but isn't this going a bit too far?
"Okay, let's calm down. Did I do something wrong?"
The two of them silently glared down at me.
The pressure was intense, but I'm a man, too. I can't just lose to this kind of unreasonableness.
"That's why I- um... well... yes, understood."
That being said, knowing when to back down is the mature way to handle things, isn't it?
As I obediently sat on the floor, Yanami directed a cold gaze at me.
"Nukumizu-kun. Do you understand what you have done?"
Eh, what did I do? Uh, let's see…
"I asked if you would go with me to the lights in front of the station..."
"Right after me, you immediately go to Komari-chan, and she refused, then you were going to invite Lemon-chan. Just what are you trying to pull?"
What am I trying to pull, you ask?
"Because, you see, I have to invite Shikiya-senpai, and-"
"What!? Next is that senpai? Nukumizu-kun, you're way too indiscriminate, aren't you!?"
"Huh, didn't I mention it? I talked it over with Tamaki-senpai, and we decided to bring Tsukinoki-senpai and her together. Because of that, I have to call Shikiya-senpai out on the night of the 24th... so I was wondering... if you two could... lend me a hand..."
Why? Yanami and Komari's expressions were becoming even more severe.
"Uhh, did I say something strange?"
The two of them, their faces red with anger-
"That's why I don't like this part of you, Nukumizu-kun!"
"Y-Yeah, just die!"
They threw those words at me one after another and turned their backs.
Ehh, what is this…? I just forgot to explain things a little bit, didn’t I?
"So, are you two still... on the night of Eve?"
Yanami glared at me over her shoulder.
"Sorry, but I'm going out to eat with my family that day. Please do whatever you want~"
Komari also clicked her tongue and glared at me.
"I-I'm also eating cake with the little ones. G-Go die alone."
They are being awfully harsh for some reason.
With the way things are going, who knows what they'll say to me later if I ask Yakishio? It seems I really have no choice but to invite Shikiya-san on my own.
But somehow, after just what happened yesterday, it's hard to talk to Shikiya-san.
The sensation of the cold hand I held.
Unlike Yakishio's strong hand that forcefully grabbed mine at the beach, or Kaju's childish palm that holds mine seeking affection, her hand, as delicate as glasswork, was wrapped around my fingers-
...No, she didn't reach out her hand to me with those kinds of intentions.
At least in that moment when our hands touched. I don't think there were any romantic feelings or ulterior motives there.
I closed my eyes and carefully traced back the emotions that were there yesterday.
Shikiya-san's helplessness and sorrow, and my own feelings as I sat beside her…
Wondering why my own feelings became blurrier the more I thought about them, I recalled Shikiya-san's rain-soaked profile one last time.
Tiara-san said Shikiya-san looked really lonely when she got rejected by Tsukinoki-senpai.
I don't know if the profile Tiara-san saw was the same as the one I saw, but the feelings we felt probably aren't that far apart.
Having made up my mind, I slowly opened my eyes.
The usual scenery of the clubroom spread out before me, from a viewpoint lower than usual.
Be that as it may... how long do I have to sit on the floor?
*
That evening. I carefully checked the lock on my room's door.
Alright, now no one can get into my room.
I changed back into my school uniform and checked my whole body in the full-length mirror.
Then, striking a pose at a 45-degree angle, I opened my mouth.
"Would you like to go see the lights at Toyohashi Station with me this Thursday?"
...Nailed it. I look pretty good.
After all, I'm inviting an older female student out on Christmas Eve. Practicing for the real thing is essential.
I need to be decisive, even if it's a bit forceful, but maybe abbreviating "illumination" to "lights" is putting on too much air.
Would it be better to be more casual...?
Ahem. Clearing my throat, I struck a pose in front of the full-length mirror once more.
"Come to think of it, the illuminations in front of the station have started again this year. If you would like, won't you go see them with me on the night of Christmas Eve?"
This one is a more natural route without putting on airs. With this, I can bring it up in the middle of small talk.
"Onii-sama, how about phrasing it a bit more delicately?"
"If I do that, wouldn't she just brush it off without even realizing I'm asking her out?"
"In that case, she's brushing it off on purpose. Listen to me, there is absolutely no way a girl wouldn't realize when she's being asked out by the opposite sex."
Eh, is that so? Girls are scary.
"...Wait, why are you in my room, Kaju? I locked the door, didn't I?"
"Ara, the door wasn't locked at all. I came to return the book I borrowed."
Kaju smiled sweetly as she handed me the book.
When did my room's door get unlocked? Things like this happen pretty often, so maybe I should get it fixed…
Kaju sat on my bed, looking like it was the most natural thing in the world. It seemed she planned to stay a while.
It can't be helped. I turned to my desk and opened a textbook as camouflage.
"Well, your big brother has homework to do. You should go back to your room, Kaju."
"Onii-sama, are you inviting someone out on the night of Christmas Eve?"
...It seems she won't just let it go. I conspicuously brought my face closer to the textbook.
"Uh, well, sort of. Look, it's already late, so go to sleep. You won't be able to wake up tomorrow."
As I continued pretending to do my homework, I heard sobbing from behind me.
I hurriedly turned around.
I wasn't hearing things. Kaju was shedding large drops of tears.
"What's wrong, Kaju!?"
"Because... because... Onii-sama, who didn't even have any friends in the first term, is going on a date with a girl on Eve... Kaju is just so, so happy..."
Fsshh. Kaju blew her nose with a tissue.
"No, it's not like that. There are some circumstances-"
"During that period when you were swapping out multiple girls one after another, even Kaju thought it was a bit much."
"There was never a period like that, though?"
Kaju stood up while wiping her tears.
"Onii-sama has finally decided on his true love. Kaju will spare no effort in helping you. The interview can wait!"
But you're still going to do an interview. Kaju, with teary eyes, pulled my head into a tight hug.
"If your Christmas Eve date goes well, please leave the rest to Kaju! Preparations to welcome her into the Nukumizu household are already perfect. It would be nice to make New Year's dishes together, wouldn't it? Kaju also needs to gradually hand over the more than 30 volumes of <Onii-sama's Notes>-"
Eh, what's an <Onii-sama's Notes>? I'm curious, but I'm too scared to ask. The number of volumes is scary, too.
"As I said, Kaju, listen to me. We're just going out together. It's not a date or anything like that."
I peeled Kaju off of me.
"But onii-sama, it's the night of Christmas Eve, isn't it?"
"Well, it just happened to fall on that day, but still."
"That is a date. At the very least, it's an invitation to a date."
"Ugh...!"
At Kaju's forceful assertion, I found myself at a loss for words.
The word "date", which I had been trying not to think about, took over my mind.
"No one would ever turn down an invitation from you, onii-sama. But, by some one-in-a-million chance, if you do get rejected-"
Kaju pulled my head into a tight hug once again.
"Please rest assured, you will always have Kaju, onii-sama."
"O-Oh..."
If anything, my anxiety was only increasing.
…There are 3 days left until Christmas Eve.
*
Lunch break. I was walking down the hallway of the old building with a curry bread in one hand.
Today is Wednesday, the day before Christmas Eve.
Two days had passed since then, but I still hadn't been able to ask Shikiya-san out.
...I'll go ahead and say this first. I did my best. It's not like I did anything specific, but anyway, I tried hard.
Timing is crucial for things like this, and I certainly didn't chicken out. As proof, I even practiced a whole lot with Kaju last night.
While making excuses to myself, I opened the door leading to the emergency stairs. A cold wind blew against me.
I hadn't been out here in a while, but late December is quite freezing-
"N-Nukumizu, you're here?"
Looking up at that voice, I saw Komari sitting on the stairs.
"Komari, even though it's this cold out-"
Halfway through my sentence, I couldn't help but be dumbfounded by Komari's appearance.
Komari was wearing fluffy earmuffs and a scarf around her neck. She was wearing a padded winter coat and even had a lap blanket ready. On top of that, she was so thoroughly prepared that she even laid down a floor cushion to combat the cold from the floor.
"That's quite an outfit. Do you carry all that around with you?"
With a smug grin, Komari pointed at the wall.
"I-I brought it all in little by little, a-and hung a hook inside that inspection hatch over there to h-hang my bag."
This girl is fully enjoying her emergency staircase life.
"N-Nukumizu, it's been a while s-since you came here."
Saying so, Komari took a bite of her bread.
What she was eating was a breadstick featuring a national food-themed hero. It's definitely leftovers from her siblings.
But I came here because I didn't want to see anyone, so my plan was a bust…
While I was hesitating whether to go to another floor, Komari spoke to me again.
"A-About tomorrow, did it go well?"
About tomorrow. She meant the plan to ask Shikiya-san out.
Seeing me stay silent, Komari shook her head with an exasperated look.
"C-Can't you just text her or s-something?"
"I thought about that, too. But if you invite a girl out on Christmas Eve, there's a high chance you'll get rejected to begin with, right?"
"W-Well, that's true. I-It is you, Nukumizu."
That last part was uncalled for.
"What I'm trying to say is, if I invite her over LINE or something, nine times out of ten I'll just be ignored. Wouldn't it be brutal to ask her directly afterwards and have her give off a 'read the room, I was ignoring you on purpose' kind of aura?"
"W-Worry about that after you invite her."
That might be true, but boys are delicate creatures, you know?
"There's still time after school today, so don't worry. Future me will handle it."
"T-That future is right a-around the corner, you know…?"
There's no use thinking too much about it. As I leaned my back against the handrail and took a bite of my curry bread, Komari was acting suspiciously, her eyes darting around.
"What's wrong, Komari? Are you waiting for someone?"
"N-No, I'm not. Umm, here, t-this."
Komari abruptly held out a small package.
I recognize this wrapping paper. It's the one Komari dropped when Tiara-san and I were eating crepes.
"Eh, for me?"
Komari nodded silently, keeping her eyes cast down.
A sudden gift. I wonder what her intention is behind this.
When I timidly opened the package, there was a bookmark inside.
It was made of thin metal, with a Japanese-style pattern hollowed out in its design. It was genuinely stylish and cool.
"A Christmas gift exchange, huh. I haven't prepared anything, though."
"N-No, that's not- um, it's just for you, Nukumizu."
"Eh, then is this a birthday present?"
To think Komari would give me such a thing.
Feeling deeply moved, as if a stray cat I picked up had finally eaten food for the first time, I held the bookmark up to the light to look through its pattern.
"It's quite detailed. This was pretty expensive, wasn't it?"
"N-Not really..."
"This pattern is a river flow and autumn leaves, huh. And the round thing is… a temari?" [TL: Traditional handball.]
"...S-Shut up."
Why did I just get yelled at?
"Did I say something weird?"
"T-That's why I don't like this p-part of you…!"
Komari pulled her lap blanket over her head and began munching on her bread inside it.
Eh, I don't get it at all. Did I step on a landmine without realizing it?
But still, a present for me from Komari of all people. I feel like we have come an awfully long way.
I gazed at the sky over the railing.
The winter sky was high and clear without a single cloud, and the forecast says tomorrow evening will be perfectly clear too.
…I just have to do it. I'll execute the plan after school.
Pumping myself up, I bit into my curry bread.
*
It was finally after school. In the middle of the hallway leading to the student council room, I slapped both of my cheeks with my hands to get myself pumped up.
"Alright, let's do this."
I can do this. I'm just inviting Shikiya-senpai on a Christmas Eve date.
Maybe I should invite her over LINE after all. But I probably won't be able to focus on anything until I get a reply, and if she ignores it, the timing to make my next move would be-
"...Your teacher is lonely."
Suddenly, a pair of hands covered my eyes from behind.
I shook the hands off and quickly put some distance between us.
"Whoa, Konuki-sensei, what's with the sudden surprise?"
"You said you would come, but you haven't visited the infirmary at all."
"I'm sorry. I've been busy lately."
I had completely forgotten, but I wasn't lying. I was busy.
"But you visited me so often during Tsuwabuki Fest, didn't you?"
"That's because I actually had business there back then."
"So you just toss me aside once you're done with me? I don't remember raising you boys like that."
I have no recollection of being raised by her, but I need to handle this like an adult.
Maintaining a set distance, I flashed her my best customer service smile.
"Sensei, you're the advisor. You can come to the clubroom any time, you know?"
"But during after-school clubs, someone might get hurt, right? I'll get scolded if I'm not in the infirmary~"
Don't act all cute.
"Then is it okay for you to not be in the infirmary right now?"
"I have a meeting for tomorrow's staff meeting. ...Nukumizu-kun, why do you run away when I get close?"
"Because you get close. We'll all go hang out with you next time, so please go to your meeting with peace of mind."
My mature facade was running out of stock. As I tried to shoo her away with a cold shoulder-
A dignified voice echoed through the hallway.
"There you are, Konuki-sensei."
The owner of the voice was the student council president, Hibari Hokobaru. Her long hair fluttering, she walked up to Konuki-sensei.
"If it isn't Hokobaru-san. What's the matter?"
"I brought the surveys you asked for. The tally sheet is here, too."
"Ara, that's a big help. I'll thank you properly next time, so come visit the infirmary."
"I only did what is natural for the student council. Please don't worry about it."
Am I imagining things, or is Prez trying to avoid her as well?
I tried to take this opportunity to leave, but Konuki-sensei quickly blocked my path.
"...Where are you going, leaving me behind?"
"I have some errands to run. More importantly, don't you have a meeting now, sensei?"
"It's fine if I'm a little late. Now, let's continue our love talk."
Were we even having a love talk?
As I was at a loss, Prez came up and stood next to me.
"Sensei, I apologize. I have something to discuss with the president of the Literature Club regarding their activities. May I borrow him?"
That's news to me.
Konuki-sensei regretfully brushed her hair up while I was bewildered.
"Ara… if that's the case, it can't be helped. Nukumizu-kun, don't go too crazy, okay?"
While I tentatively nodded at her mysterious advice, Prez wrapped her arm around my shoulder.
"Nukumizu-kun, we got permission. Let's go."
"Eh, um..."
Prez forcefully started walking towards the new school building.
After walking for a while, she shot a quick glance behind us.
"That teacher is quite a handful. She cares about the students, but sometimes she goes a bit too far."
Seeing her wry smile, I realized she had helped me out.
"I'm sorry for making you worry about me."
"It's nothing, I only did what's expected of the president."
That aside, how long does this person plan to keep her arm around my shoulder…? It feels bad to be the one to point it out, like I'm bothered by it or something…
"Uh, I actually have some business with Shikiya-senpai now."
"If it's Shikiya, she's at the playground. She should be in the PE Storage Room checking supplies, so I'll walk you part of the way."
Eh, is that so? And she's coming with me all the way to the shoe lockers, huh?
Perhaps sensing my slumped expression, a smile appeared on Prez's face.
"Besides, it's true that I have something to talk to you about. You have been with Shikiya quite a bit lately. You two seem very close."
"Eh, well, we're not exactly close or anything."
I'm with her to get back the real-person doujinshi featuring you and me… yeah, I definitely can't say that.
Seeing me deep in thought, Prez laughed out loud.
"You don't need to hide it. I know everything."
"Wait, Prez, you knew!?"
Seriously? She knows about a gender-bent real-person doujinshi of herself and isn't even fazed?
Prez squeezed the arm she had around me in a good mood while I was very fazed.
"My eyes aren't just for show. To put it simply, you are… in love, aren't you?"
"I am not."
Our president's eyes are just for show.
"Come now, burning with love is the privilege of youth. Even if it's an unrequited love."
What's more, she's assuming I'll get rejected.
It was too much of a pain to deny it, so I stayed silent, at which point Prez suddenly shifted to a serious tone.
"Also, you know the vice president, Tiara-kun, right?"
"Well, more or less."
"She seems to be hiding something lately. Do you have any idea what it might be?"
"Eh? No, why are you asking me?"
"Well, I wonder why."
Prez released her arm and quickly stepped in front of me, blocking my path.
"As long as one does not stray from the path of humanity, romance is free. But in other words, those who stray from the path have no right to be in love. Don't you agree?"
She pierced me with a sharp gaze.
"Umm... what do you mean by that?"
"There are a few places in this school that are hidden from public view. The other day, Tiara-kun was seen entering such a place with a male student."
That was me.
Sensing my inability to hide my panic, Prez stepped closer.
"She's been acting strange lately, too. Mumbling mysterious words like 'precious', 'right-side fixed', 'super power bottom'—and staring intently at me while holding a lost necktie."
I see, Tiara-san is already a lost cause.
"Well, I've been consulting with her about various things."
"Ohh… relationship troubles, you mean?"
"Yeah, well, something like that. I can't really say any more because of that."
"I see, 'some things are better left unsaid', as they say."
Prez patted my shoulder as if to say she understood everything. She probably didn't understand a single thing.
Just then, a male student turned the corner in the hallway and ran toward us.
"Hiba-nee, what happened to the inspection of the Brass Band Club? It's almost time for our appointment."
The lifeline that appeared was the student council treasurer, Sakurai-kun.
"Hiroto, huh? That's why I'm heading there right now."
Sakurai-kun sighed tiredly at the proudly speaking Prez.
"The Music Room is in the opposite direction. Come on, hurry up."
Sakurai-kun grabbed the president's hand, bowed to me, and left the scene.
He seems to have a hard time, too. Since he's already dealing with a lot, I wonder if he could take care of the Literature Club girls while he's at it…
Thinking about such things, I quickened my pace toward the shoe lockers.
*
The PE Storage Room beside the playground.
The door was open, and there was no one around.
With the dry sound of a metal bat echoing in the distance behind me, I slowly walked up to the storage room.
The last time I entered here was in July of this year, when I was locked inside with Yakishio.
...By the way, I really didn't look at anything back then, and I think it would have been fine if I had looked just a little.
When I peeked inside secretly, there was a single girl standing with her back to me.
Long, light brown hair. Her pale legs extending from her short skirt looked freezing just from a glance at them.
There's no mistaking, it's Shikiya-san.
This is my chance to talk to her without anyone seeing. Steeling my resolve, I stepped into the room.
"Senpai, do you have a minute?"
My voice echoed surprisingly loudly in the storage room.
Shikiya-san, who had frozen for a moment, suddenly whipped her head around. Scary.
"Nukumizu-kun... what's wrong...?"
Closing her notebook with a snap, she slowly turned her body toward me.
Do your best, me. Now that I've come this far, all I have to do is muster my courage and say it.
"Uhh, I was just wondering if you caught a cold or anything the other day."
Yeah, I chickened out. You got a problem with that?
As I became defiant in my mind, Shikiya-san gave a small nod.
"Yeah... I'm fine... thanks..."
"That's good to hear, then."
It was good, but it's not good.
Shikiya-san stared intently at me as I fidgeted and twiddled my thumbs.
"Is that... what you came to say...?"
"Eh, no, that's not it-"
Ah, geez, let's just get this over with and put myself out of my misery.
I took a step forward and looked straight into Shikiya-san's pale eyes.
"H-Hey! Do you have any plans for tomorrow night?"
"Not... particularly?"
Riding the momentum, I took another step forward.
Shikiya-san's body swayed as if she had been pushed.
"If you would like, could you go see the illuminations in front of the station with me!?"
Alright, I said it!
From behind me, as I was enveloped in relief, a commotion resembling a cheer leaked out.
I can't blame them. I tried super hard, after all. A cheer or two is completely natural-
"...Eh?"
When I timidly turned around, a crowd had formed at the entrance of the storage room before I knew it.
Wha!? When did all these people gather!?
As I panicked, Shikiya-san placed her hands on both of my shoulders from behind.
"Yeah... sure..."
Leaving a whisper that tickled my ear, Shikiya-san unsteadily walked out of the storage room just like that.
The sports club students who had been loitering at the entrance hurriedly opened a path for her.
And among that crowd of people, there was a single girl in uniform… Yakishio.
*
Aichidaigakakumae Station, the station closest to the school.
I boarded the inbound train that slid into the platform and sat deeply in an empty seat.
...A date on Christmas Eve, and I actually got an OK.
My objective was strictly to call her out, so it wasn't actually a date.
But since Shikiya-san didn't know that-
Just before the train doors closed, a female student with short hair jumped aboard. It was Yakishio.
Just a moment ago, in the PE Storage Room, after Shikiya-san left.
The silence that continued as we locked eyes came to an end when Yakishio was taken away by her friends.
It wasn't like I was doing anything wrong. But somehow... it was awkward.
As if she knew I was there, Yakishio came straight to my side and sat down.
Leaving an empty seat between us.
"Yakishio, are your supplementary lessons already over?"
"Yeah, and my return to club activities from tomorrow on was finalized, so I went to the Track and Field Club to say hello."
So that's why she was in her uniform.
The moment the conversation paused, Yakishio's expression changed to a teasing one.
"Man, I had no idea. So that's how it was, Nukkun~."
"Eh, what do you mean?"
Yakishio stretched out her arm and slapped my shoulder repeatedly. It really hurt.
"I'm talking about Shikiya-senpai. You're so distant. I would have helped you if you had told me~"
Ah, so she really did misunderstand, huh?
"No, no, it's not like that. It wasn't for a date."
"Just the two of you on Christmas Eve is totally a date! Shikiya-senpai is a little scary, but she's beautiful. Make sure you dress to impress tomorrow!"
"Sorry, I hadn't told you, Yakishio. I consulted with Tamaki-senpai, and I was basically put in charge of getting an appointment with Shikiya-san."
"With Ex-Prez?"
When I explained the operation from start to finish, Yakishio nodded in awe.
"...Heh, so you're going to make her and Tsukinoki-senpai make up."
"I don't know if they can make up. But those two used to be close in the past, so I figured they should at least have a proper talk."
"Huh, is that so? I didn't know that at all."
Yakishio directed her gaze into the air, repeating it, looking a little lonely.
"...I didn't know at all."
She was out of the loop. I didn't consciously do it, but I was indeed holding back from her.
Yakishio is the Track and Field Club's young ace and a member of the Literature Club holding a concurrent membership.
But that was just Yakishio's "situation". It didn't represent who she was as a person.
I should have known that.
"...Sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?"
She laughed, looking rather lonely.
"You seemed busy with supplementary lessons lately. You usually have it rough with the Track and Field Club, too."
"Yeah, that's true. And it seems like a lot is going to happen in the Track Club from now on, too."
Yakishio let out a sigh and showed an ambiguous smile.
"...Did something bad happen?"
"Nothing really. Or rather, both the advisor and the captain are expecting a lot from me."
"Come to think of it, you made it to the podium at the prefectural tournament, didn't you?"
"Yeah, 3rd place in the 100m. I'm the fastest in our club, after all. Probably in every distance."
"That's incredibly amazing for a first-year, isn't it? Of course, the people around you would have high expectations."
"But I'm not good enough to go to nationals yet. And even if I could go, I know I wouldn't be able to compete."
Leaning her body slightly toward me, she indifferently continued her words.
"Gettin special treatment when I can't meet their expectations… It's a little uncomfortable, I guess."
She carried a somewhat detached and mature look, an expression that I saw on her from time to time.
I averted my eyes and looked out the window.
"I know you're trying your best. So you can use the Literature Club to take a breather whenever you want."
"But I can't write novels. Even Yana-chan is writing them properly."
"Yeah, she did submit something this time as well."
Yanami's novel was the usual convenience store gourmet story this time, too. There were signs of a new development, but she'll definitely continue to be particular about food.
"Compared to that, I can hardly even show my face there, so I wonder if I'm even participating properly."
An announcement played inside the train, and it began to slow down.
Yakishio stood up while stretching.
"Once I become a second-year, I'm going to have to decide on a lot of things, too."
...Decide?
"Yakishio, it's not our stop yet."
"I just want to run a bit. Well then, Nukkun, make sure you do it well."
"Do what well?"
The train stopped. As she headed for the open doors, Yakishio tossed something at me.
I managed to catch it after some juggling. It was a protein bar.
Written on the package in marker was the message "Happy Basude".
She probably didn't know how to spell "birthday"...
"It's Christmas, after all. It means you should go out there looking sharp."
With a handsome expression, Yakishio pointed at me and briskly stepped off the train.
That's not the point of tomorrow, though. I wonder if she really understands…
Watching Yakishio disappear into the back of the platform, I recalled Shikiya-san in the storage room.
The sensation of her soft hands touching my shoulders. Her cold breath tickling my ear-
As the train started moving, I sat back down in my seat and squeezed my eyes shut.
I tried to empty my mind, but the feel of the protein bar in my palm pulled me back to reality.
Come to think of it, who did Yakishio hear about my birthday from?
Komari knew too, so maybe Yanami talked about me in the clubroom…
I gave up on trying to sort out my jumbled head and sat deeply back into my seat once again.
*
Literature Club Report - Winter Edition
<The Real Battle Starts Now?> by Anna Yanami
I was at the 7-Eleven on my way to school since the morning.
Christmas songs were playing on the in-store radio.
The inside of the store was completely covered in Christmas colors, but in the morning, everyone was busy and rushing about without a care for it.
While I was monopolizing the eat-in corner as usual, someone called out to me.
"Oh, Ako-san. You're taking your time today?"
This overly familiar person is XX-kun from the same class.
We're not that close.
"I'm just eating breakfast. Could you not bother me?"
My breakfast is a pork bun.
It is a masterpiece with a heavy, meaty filling wrapped in a chewy dough, and in the winter, I eat it five times a week.
XX-kun, who was about to go somewhere, looked in the direction of my gaze and said, "Ah, I see", acting like he knew what was going on.
Outside the window, next to OO-kun, waiting for the light at the pedestrian crossing, stood a girl.
It's Jko-chan.
She has been hanging out with him a lot lately, and even now they are chatting happily.
I think it's immodest to walk to school so openly with a boy.
As I silently ate my pork bun, XX-kun placed a cup in front of me.
A hot cafe latte, and a large size at that.
Because it was in the way, I glared at him, and XX-kun sat in a chair two seats away.
"A little something for you. You like café au lait, right?"
XX-kun muttered.
Come to think of it, today is December 24th. I wonder if he intends for this to be a Christmas present.
It's a little creepy, but I'm not the kind of woman to trample on someone's goodwill.
Since the pork bun was taking all the moisture from my mouth, the warm café au lait permeated my body.
It feels like the milk, rich yet refreshing, tastes better with every sip.
"XX-kun, did you put sugar in this?"
"I made sure to put it in. Ako-san, you take two sugars, right?"
Good grief. I was inwardly exasperated.
For a large size, it's obviously three sugar packs.
But since I am an adult, I didn't show any sign of that.
The light turned green. He and Jko-chan crossed the pedestrian crossing while chatting happily.
The café au lait I drank while watching them tasted a little more bittersweet than usual.
*
December 24th. The evening of Christmas Eve.
The front of Toyohashi Station is a large deck connecting to the private railway station and the tram stop.
The center of the illumination is a wide, circular area to the right after exiting the station's east exit.
From a little way away, around the stairs leading down to the tram, I observed the situation from a distance.
…15 minutes left until the meetup time at 18:00.
The sky, having completely darkened, was faintly illuminated white by the city lights.
A corner of the illuminations flickered with small, sparkling lights, and even from a distance, I felt like I was being drawn into its magical atmosphere.
"Yo, kept you waiting, huh?"
The one who appeared with a slightly nervous expression was Tamaki-senpai.
Wearing a mature collared coat, he lightly raised his hand.
"Ah, thanks for your hard work."
Meeting outside of school makes things kind of awkward, huh…
Tamaki-senpai reached out and took something out of my hair.
"What's this, confetti?"
"It's from my little sister, Kaju. I got caught by her when I was leaving the house."
"Why does getting caught by your sister result in this...?"
I don't know the answer to that either.
"It seems she misunderstood and thought I was going on a Christmas date, so she gave me a grand send-off. I managed to stop her from hanging a banner from the balcony, at least."
"...You have it rough as always, huh."
"Not as rough as you, senpai."
Which is better to be dragged around by, a girlfriend or a little sister?
No, wait, the very fact that he has a girlfriend gives him a landslide victory in the first place…
"Are you really sure about today? Even though it's Christmas and all."
"Well, I'll probably be apologizing the whole time during dinner."
My slightly mean teasing was returned with a self-deprecating humblebrag about his relationship.
So I really can't beat a guy with a girlfriend, huh. As I was overwhelmed by a light sense of despair, senpai suddenly tightened his expression.
"...Looks like Koto is here."
Following his gaze, there was a figure that looked like her on the deck in the distance.
Wait, is that her next to that person? I can't tell when she's not wearing her uniform…
"Don't lean out too far. It will all be for nothing if we get spotted."
That's true. After coming all this way, an ending like that would be a bit much.
Hiding behind senpai's body, I observed (probably) Tsukinoki-senpai's situation.
"Shikiya-san hasn't arrived yet. Won't we have a near-miss if we stay here?"
"I think she's taking a taxi, so she shouldn't pass through here. We were just exchanging messages a bit ago, too."
The chat screen only had a single phrase: <On my way.> Despite her gal-like appearance, it was a truly manly response.
"Then it should be fine. Coming face-to-face with that girl would be a bit..."
Perhaps still anxious, Tamaki-senpai looked around worriedly.
Addressing his back, I opened my mouth.
"...Isn't it about time you tell me?"
"Tell you what-"
Seeing Tamaki-senpai trail off and fall silent, it finally clicked for me.
"What happened between the two of them? I was wondering about that until a little while ago."
With a feeling akin to conviction, I stared into senpai's eyes as he tried to look away.
"It wasn't just between the two of them. Something happened between the three of you, right? Am I wrong?"
Senpai cast his gaze around the area one more time and then began to speak without looking at my face.
"...It was when Koto and I were second-years, around the time the Tsuwabuki Festival ended. Koto was still in the student council, and she and Shikiya-san were close."
He slowly strung his words together bit by bit, as if to blend them into the flow of people passing by.
"I guess it was a bit different from how Koto and Komari-chan are now... They had the kind of relationship where even I couldn't step in."
A honeymoon phase between the two of them that even Tamaki-senpai couldn't intrude upon.
It was hard to imagine from how they are now, but it had definitely existed.
"One day after school, when I was alone in the clubroom, that girl came by, which was rare. And then..."
His tone of voice dropped. Senpai's expression wasn't one of anger or sadness, but bewilderment.
"And then, what happened?"
He slowly opened his mouth.
"I was… pushed down by Shikiya-san."
"Ha?"
Wait, what did this guy just say?
"You don't mean she just fell on you or something!? No seriously, what the hell were you doing!? Were you and Shikiya-san in that kind of relationship?"
"Wait, wait, I didn't do anything! It was an attempt… or rather, Koto walked in right at the last second!"
"Isn't that actually the worst-case scenario?"
"...Yes."
Seriously? Of course, their relationship would go sour after that.
I leaned my body against the fence behind me and let out a huge sigh.
...But, wait a second.
"Is it really okay to make the two of them meet under those circumstances? From Tsukinoki-senpai's perspective, the woman who's after her boyfriend is going to show up right where they are having a date."
Perhaps recalling something, senpai closed his eyes and furrowed his brow.
"I don't think the idea of her being after me is quite right…"
I wouldn't know since I have never been targeted.
Senpai opened his eyes and stared at the deck shining with lights.
"Koto and I try not to touch upon that incident. But still, I don't think we should pretend it never happened."
...I finally understood what had happened between the three of them.
But as for the meaning of what actually happened… the answer to that hadn't come out yet.
"Nukumizu, Shikiya-san is here."
Beyond his serious gaze, a girl was walking unsteadily like a butterfly.
She's wearing a brown long coat and a knit hat as well, I think.
I took out my phone.
I didn't know what kind of answer lay ahead.
But since Tamaki-senpai had decided to face it, I just had to fulfill my promise to Tiara-san.
*
December 24th, 17:54
Toyohashi Station East Exit Deck, Circle Area.
The illuminations spread across the deck in front of the station. The corner of the deck where Koto stood at the center of it all, with a large heart-shaped object serving as a photo spot.
High school girls were taking pictures of each other while raising excited voices.
A little sister and brother posing side-by-side as their mother snapped the shutter-
Koto let her gaze drift softly around her, surrendering herself to the gentle, pale blue light.
Last year's Christmas felt like it was just yesterday.
At that time, she was still just a childhood friend of Shintaro.
With her own kind of expectations, she had looked up at the lights, only to head home with her shoulders slumped.
Now, it was just a funny story. As she lowered her gaze to hide her relaxing mouth, a pattern of light shaped as snowflakes danced at her feet.
A romantic scene like something you had seen somewhere. She had always longed for it.
But her embarrassment had gotten the better of her, and she hadn't been able to honestly enjoy it.
"...It should be fine for just this year, right?"
This was the last Christmas of her high school life.
She didn't know anything about next year, but the only thing decided was that their paths would be different.
Always by each other's side. Always together.
How fleeting and hollow such words are.
Even her young self knew at least that much.
As if to cut off her reverie, a chime sounded from her smartphone.
Taking it out, she saw it was a message from the person she was waiting for.
<Sorry, I'm going to be a little late. Could you wait right there without moving?>
...Did something happen to Shintaro?
The anxiety that crossed her mind was painted over by a sense of incongruity.
…Without moving.
If it were the usual him, he would have told her to wait somewhere warm.
So, does that mean this is going to be a… surprise?
He didn't look like that kind of guy at first glance, but he occasionally did bold things.
...But today, ordinary is fine.
An ordinary Christmas spent by an ordinary couple.
Today, she wanted to tuck that "ordinary" away in her heart…
Lowering her face, Koto let a smile float to her lips.
She thought to herself that she had changed.
She had wanted to be special to the person she liked; she had wanted them to be a special couple.
But now. It didn't have to be special. As long as the two of them could be together, that was all she wished for.
...Into the field of vision of Koto, who was thinking such things, a pair of brown boots entered.
Despite it being an unremarkable sight, something cold ran down her spine.
That familiar way of walking dug up a slightly distant memory.
As if propelled by something, Koto raised her head.
"...Shikiya."
There stands a familiar figure, someone who used to be right beside her.
Wearing a yarn hat with a pom-pom, she was vaguely gazing at Koto with her pale eyes.
Beneath her open trench coat, her long bare legs extending from a short skirt looked freezing cold.
"Why are you here?"
"I'm also... meeting someone..."
Not even Shikiya could remain unfazed. The end of her sentence lacked strength and scattered into the night air.
"It would really help if you could change locations if you don't mind. I can't move from here."
"I can't... either."
She suddenly wobbled and took a step forward.
"Wait... without moving from that spot... he said."
It didn't take long for Shikiya's words to sink into Koto's head.
…They have been set up.
In other words, this was a farce set up to bring her and Shikiya together.
Koto feigned calmness so as not to let her agitation show, and asked.
"Shikiya, who are you meeting? Don't tell me-"
"Nukumizu-kun… from the Literature Club…"
Shikiya tilted her head, looking slightly proud.
"He... invited me."
So that boy was in on it, too, as expected.
Koto placed a finger against her forehead and shook her head.
"Nukumizu-kun, he has a cute face, but he's quite something. To think he would string you along, Shikiya."
"What do you... mean?"
"Open your eyes. We have been set up."
Shikiya looked at Koto, who waved her hand dismissively as she said that, with a puzzled expression.
"Nukumizu-kun... isn't coming...?"
"Probably not."
It wasn't that the thought of leaving this place didn't cross her mind.
She hated playing right into their hands, but running away was even more irritating.
And seeing Shikiya standing there looking so helpless, Koto gave up.
She lined up next to Shikiya and looked up at the illuminations crossing overhead.
"...Shikiya, are you dating Nukumizu-kun?"
"No... we're friends... I think?"
"Why are you asking me?"
She had thought they would never stand side-by-side and talk like this again.
Nor did she think there was anything more that needed to be said between them.
But far more than she had worried, there was no sense of awkwardness having her by her side.
However, there was just one thing. Something she couldn't avoid.
"Do you remember? Last year in November. What you did in the Literature Club Room."
"...Yeah."
At the time, they kept the student council and Literature Club activities as separate as possible.
So Shikiya and Shintaro shouldn't have had much interaction.
That's why when she opened the door to the room. It felt strange, like she was watching a movie screen.
Perhaps that was to protect her own heart, and also because there was one other thing that she just couldn't wrap her head around.
Koto took a deep breath and voiced the question she had wanted to ask but never could.
"Did you... like Shintaro?"
Shikiya tilted her head, looking genuinely puzzled at this simple question.
"...I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know? After doing something like that, whether you like or hate him should be at least-"
"I'm sorry... but... I don't know..."
Seeing Shikiya wilt like a reprimanded child, even Koto's heart ached.
"I'm the one who doesn't understand. Shikiya, you're not the type to play around with guys, right?"
"Yeah..."
"Then why did you do that?"
"Because Koto-san... liked... Tamaki-san."
The answer, a year in the making, was too unexpected. Koto instinctively let her mouth fall open in shock.
"So it's like that. You're the type who wants what belongs to others, or something?"
Shikiya shook her head slightly, but clearly.
"I wanted… to become like you… Koto-san."
"Eh, me?"
That was all Koto could finally manage to utter at an even more unexpected remark.
"But Koto-san... there are so many things... I don't understand..."
Shikiya swayed around.
"So... I thought if I fell in love... with the person Koto-san liked... I might understand."
When she finished speaking, Shikiya stopped moving altogether, as if a switch had been turned off.
Koto repeated her words over and over in her head.
After digesting the words repeatedly and feeling her fingertips brush the edge of Shikiya's feelings, Koto stopped reaching out.
A numbness in her fingertips told her she shouldn't go any further.
"...Even so, doing something like that wouldn't have helped. First of all, what were you going to do if Shintaro actually went along with it?"
"Since he's the person you like... I don't think... I would have hated it."
As she said that, her profile was illuminated by the flickering light, so beautiful that it captivated even Koto's eyes.
If Shikiya had truly fallen in love with Shintaro…
Such an impossible anxiety crossed Koto's mind.
"Why do you want to become someone like me? You're cuter, and your grades are better. You have a lot of friends, too, don't you?"
"I don't know… how to smile…"
Shikiya began to speak as if spilling words caught in her chest.
"Like having fun... or being happy... or sad... I think I have those feelings too, but... I don't really understand them..."
Shikiya took a shallow, short breath and began to spin her overflowing words.
"Koto-san, you're always... honest about your feelings and things... and you sparkle..."
She exhaled and inhaled once more. A deeper, larger breath than before.
"That's why I also... want to become like you... Koto-san."
Those words were by no means strong.
They were so frail that they could easily be scattered by the winter wind.
Even her heart wasn't set. It was vague and uncertain.
But Shikiya's utmost effort was conveyed to Koto, and no one else.
Koto showed a gentle smile.
"I don't understand everything you're saying, Shikiya. But you know, I can smile even when I'm not having fun."
Saying so, she showed her usual teasing smile.
"I fake smiles too, and sometimes I start having fun while laughing along with the people around me."
"Is… that so?"
"That's how it is. In the end, you don't know if you're laughing because you're having fun, or having fun because you're laughing."
Koto reached out and toyed with the pom-pom on Shikiya's hat with her fingertips.
Shikiya looked at Koto anxiously.
"Koto-san... don't you... hate me... when you can't tell... what I'm thinking?"
"You don't laugh or smile, but sometimes you seem like you're having fun or are happy. That kind of thing properly comes across, so-"
This time, Koto smiled from the bottom of her heart.
"I don't hate it. I think you're fine just the way you are."
Those were honest and unadorned words.
"Yeah... thank you..."
Giving a small nod, Shikiya pinched the ends of Koto's long hair with her fingertips.
While gazing at Shikiya's affectionate fingertips, Koto spoke in a whisper.
"I'm sorry, Shikiya. Even though we were together, I couldn't understand you at all. Knowing me, I probably said a lot of insensitive things or hurt you in many ways-"
As if to interrupt her words, Shikiya touched Koto's lips with her finger.
"Koto-san... smile...?"
When Koto showed a slightly bewildered smile, Shikiya carefully traced those lips with her finger.
And then, as if imitating it, she formed her own mouth into the shape of a smile.
"Being together with Koto-san... makes me... happy."
Shikiya pulled away with a swaying, almost dancing step and walked out into the middle of the plaza.
When Koto lined up next to her, Shikiya bent the fingers of her left hand and held them out in front of her eyes.
"Let's make a heart... with our fingers... together...?"
"Isn't that what lovers-"
Koto gave a wry smile, then placed her fingers from the opposite side to form a heart.
"Got it. Is this good?"
Shikiya once again made her newly learned smile.
"If the two of us... look at the lights through the heart... We'll pass our exams."
"That's a lie, isn't it?"
"It's a lie... really, it means... we'll be bound together..."
"Aren't you already bound together by the time you can do that?"
It couldn't be helped. She was already committed to the bit. Koto leaned her face close to Shikiya's and looked through the heart they made with their fingers.
"Is this okay? Shikiya, your cheeks are cold."
The moment she pulled back and turned her face-
Shikiya pressed her lips against hers.
Koto, frozen by the sheer suddenness of it, realized the lips covering her mouth were moving as if to devour hers, and hurriedly pulled her body away.
"Hngh!? W-What did you just do!? Eh, wait, seriously!?"
Shikiya, placing her fingers against her own lips, muttered softly.
"It was... soft and fluffy."
"I don't need your feedback!"
Koto held her head and crouched down.
"No, seriously, you... I was just barely letting things slide for you, and you just leap right over it?"
Shikiya, with her usual poker face, gently placed her hand on Koto's shoulder.
"It's okay... I can hold you, Koto-san..."
"You don't need to hold me. It's more like, are you the one doing the holding?"
"Koto-san... are you the one who gets held?"
"I have a boyfriend, after all- wait, what are we even talking about?"
...Ah, sheesh, taking this seriously just makes her look stupid.
Koto groaned as she stood up, gazing at the sparkling illuminations.
These things are just LEDs.
Just lights that are a little bit pretty, romantic, and make people honest.
"Somehow, I'm starting to get mad. Shikiya, you haven't had dinner yet, right? Let's go get something to eat."
"But... Tamaki-san is waiting..."
"He's just with Nukumizu-kun anyway. Come to think of it, you were invited by that boy today, weren't you? You're not really dating him... right?"
Shikiya tilted her head.
"I'm not... What about it...?"
"Today's Christmas Eve. The fact that you accepted his invitation means you might be a little interested, right?"
"That's not it, but..."
Shaking her head back and forth, she turned her pale eyes toward the sky.
"But... he might be... a little cute."
How should she interpret those words? Koto thought about it for a moment and decided to just leave it be.
If something was growing there, she would just let it be for now.
Koto took out her phone and made a call without even really looking at the screen.
Two rings. The moment the other party answered, she started talking without a pause.
"Shintaro, can you hear me? I'm going out to eat with Shikiya. Well then, see you later if I feel like it."
Hanging up before he could say a word, she held out her hand to Shikiya.
"Come on, I'll spoil you rotten today."
"Koto-san... is that okay...?"
"It's fine. Shikiya, what do you want to eat?"
"I... want to eat fish..."
Shikiya hesitantly reached out her hand, like a shy child.
"Leave it to me. I'll treat you to the best, splendid alfonsino."
Koto firmly grasped that hand.
With a smile just like the one from a year ago, but a little more grown-up.
*
A cafe located a short distance from the station.
The music box melody of a Christmas song was playing softly.
Illuminated by the faint light of a candle, I sat facing Tamaki-senpai across the table.
"Sorry for making you treat me like this."
"Don't hold back. It would be rough eating alone in here, anyway."
Tamaki-senpai laughed weakly as he said that.
It was fine that I came along after senpai, who had been stood up for his Christmas dinner, invited me, but all the tables around us were filled with couples, making us feel horribly out of place.
"Besides, I had this reserved in advance. I've been working hard on my exam studies, looking forward to this day, so..."
Senpai slumped face-down onto the table.
"How did it end up like this?"
I feel like it was an inevitable outcome, though.
I was the one who dragged him into this mess, so it's not like I don't feel responsible.
"Come on, cheer up. It looks like the two of them made up, and Tsukinoki-senpai isn't mad either."
"You think so? She seemed genuinely pretty mad."
"She was just hiding her embarrassment. Look, the drinks are here. Please sit up."
A staff member came to the table carrying the drinks on a tray.
"Here is the Aranciata Rossa Christmas Special."
Clunk. A single large glass was placed in the center of the table.
In the glass was red juice, and two straws intertwined in a spiral shape.
…This is one of those drinks meant for two people to share.
"Senpai, something pretty crazy just came out."
"...It is Christmas, after all."
Senpai abruptly sat up and put his mouth to a straw.
"This is actually pretty good. How about you try some?"
"Ah, well then, don't mind if I do."
It certainly is bittersweet and delicious.
As we took turns drinking the juice, senpai muttered an "ah" as if he noticed something.
"Nukumizu, drink this together with me."
"Eh? No way."
"It's not like I'm doing this because I want to either. Come on, hurry up."
Why do something that no one wants...?
Reluctantly doing as he said, a heart shape jumped into my eyes.
"Huh!? When we drink at the same time, the color of the juice makes the straws look like a heart, doesn't it?"
"Yeah. What's more, it doesn't form a heart unless you look at it from above."
It seemed there was a trick to the straws, too. As the two of us were discussing the mechanics of the straws, the staff member brought over plates of food.
"Thank you for waiting. Here are the assorted hors d'oeuvres, Christmas Edition."
A square plate was placed in front of me.
On the plate, white foam resembling snow and brightly colored appetizers were lined up.
"This foam is the edible kind, right?"
"I think it's called espuma or something. You're probably supposed to put the foam on the Santa and eat it."
"This thing that looks like a summoned beast was supposed to be Santa?"
Somehow, I've come full circle and am actually starting to have fun.
By the time we finished eating the main chicken dish, Tamaki-senpai's energy had completely returned to normal.
"...Seriously, Ayu-chan confessed in the latest chapter?"
I nodded gravely at senpai, who was leaning forward excitedly.
"Yes, next week's issue is going to be wild. A confession event at this time is a total losing flag, after all."
"Ugh, I'm too curious about what happens next. Please spare me the spoilers until my exams are over."
Tamaki-senpai laughed while wiping his mouth with a napkin.
"So you're sticking to that ban on manga and anime you mentioned before, huh?"
"Yeah, the Common Test is right after the new year starts. I have to make up for the delay from switching to the science track."
"Come to think of it, have you decided which faculty you're applying to?"
"Did I not tell you? The Faculty of Agriculture. I'm thinking of studying brewing."
Brewing... so like miso or alcohol, right? Speaking of alcohol, if I recall…
"Wasn't Tsukinoki-senpai's family home a liquor store?"
"Not a liquor store, they made it. She's the only daughter of a sake brewery."
Heh, is that so? And studying brewing means, in other words…
"Eh, are you two already at that stage?"
"We're not at that stage at all yet. I just hope I can become a support for her in the future."
Saying so, senpai drank water to hide his embarrassment.
...Future paths after graduation, huh?
I plan to go to university and leave home for now, but I can't imagine living in an unfamiliar place at all. I can picture myself eating alone at the cafeteria perfectly clearly, though.
"...I hope it goes well."
"Leave it to me. I'm counting on you to prepare for the celebratory toss."
I made an exaggerated frown at senpai, who was giving me a thumbs-up.
"I mean your woman issues rather than your exams, senpai. Even though you said you weren't popular at the summer training camp, you're actually quite the ladykiller, aren't you?"
"Shikiya-san's case doesn't count. Besides, what about you, Nukumizu? You're absolutely in your popular phase, aren't you?"
"How so? I'm not popular at all."
To my natural retort, senpai answered in a casual tone.
"Nukumizu, just because you're in a popular phase doesn't mean you'll actually be popular."
Eh, that's ridiculous. Are you trying to fundamentally overturn the definition of a popular phase?
Senpai continued with a serious expression.
"The first-years in the Literature Club are all girls except for you, right?"
"Well, I guess."
"If they were all male members, your surroundings would naturally be full of guys. It's the same for the student council."
That's certainly true. I nodded earnestly.
"In other words, the true nature of a 'popular phase' is a period where you have a lot of connections with the opposite sex due to coincidental encounters. They say it comes three times in a lifetime, but nothing's going to happen if you keep spacing out, okay?"
"Wait a minute. Then does that mean I only have two popular phases left in my life?"
"If this is your first time, then yes. Was there ever a period in the past when you hung out with girls?"
For me, who didn't even have friends, to have any connection with girls…
As I was about to laugh it off, an old memory surfaced in the back of my mind.
"...Come to think of it, in kindergarten, I did nothing but play house with the girls."
Playing with boys was exhausting, after all.
"That's the first time. What else?"
"Other than that, in middle school, my little sister's friend used to come over to play all the time, so I sometimes kept her company."
"Nukumizu, you've had a rom-com-like experience like that...?"
How come senpai is pulled back a little…?
"It wasn't anything nice like that. That girl was kind of a truant, and my sister was her only friend. She would come over even when my sister wasn't home, so I had no choice but to play games with her or something. Both of us in complete silence."
After thinking for a bit, senpai gave a big nod.
"That just barely counts as the second time. In other words, right now is your life's final popular phase."
Seriously? Then I'm destined to be single for life.
While I was imagining my solitary old age, the plates on the table were cleared, leaving only the dessert remaining.
While we were choosing our after-meal drinks, Tamaki-senpai hurriedly took out his phone.
"My bad, I'm going to step out and take a call."
Senpai left those words and exited the restaurant. Judging by his panic, it's probably from Tsukinoki-senpai.
Outside the window, senpai is apologizing profusely over the phone, like non-stop.
I wonder why people bow their heads when they apologize over the phone…
When senpai returned, he clapped both of his hands together towards me.
"Sorry! I'm going to head out a bit early."
"Did Tsukinoki-senpai forgive you?"
Tamaki-senpai gave a wry smile as he put on his jacket.
"That depends on what happens from here on out. Nukumizu, please take your time."
Tamaki-senpai paid the bill at the register and dashed out.
As I watched him retreating back, I thought about Tiara-san.
The condition she had set for our deal: to settle the relationship between Tsukinoki-senpai and Shikiya-san by tomorrow.
I think I've achieved it, but the one judging it will be Tiara-san. That person is a bit weird, and explaining it will be a pain…
Just then, the waitress smiled sweetly next to the table.
"My dear guest, if you have decided on your drink, may I bring out your dessert?"
"Eh? Ah, yes."
The moment I took the drink menu in my hand, a chill stroked the back of my neck.
"I'll have... the peach ginger tea..."
I involuntarily shivered at the voice I heard right by my ear. There's no way I could mistake this voice. It's Shikiya-san.
"Senpai, how did you know I was here?"
"I heard... from Koto-san..."
Taking off her yarn hat, she sat down in the seat where Tamaki-senpai had been sitting until just a moment ago.
Unfazed by the sudden substitution of players, the waitress showed a perfect smile.
"Will the peach ginger tea be alright for your drink?"
"Ah, yes. Two of those, please."
Even after the staff member disappeared into the kitchen, Shikiya-san didn't twitch a muscle.
This is a little awkward…
As I was about to open my mouth, Shikiya-san muttered quietly, as if preempting me.
"You broke... your promise..."
"Uhh, I didn't intend to break it-"
Calling Shikiya-san out was the objective in the first place, so the invitation itself was a lie… yeah, I'm the worst.
"Yes, I'm sorry. I have no words of apology."
"But... I forgive you..."
After a slight hesitation, Shikiya-san used the index fingers of both hands to gently push up the corners of her lips.
"Eh, is that..."
"I tried… smiling…"
"...Yes."
As I was at a loss for how to react, Shikiya-san hid her face with her yarn hat.
"Cancel… that didn't count…"
"No, no, it suited you very well! Look, our delicious-looking dessert is here!"
I forcefully livened up the mood and offered the dessert to Shikiya-san. A bûche de Noël. A classic Christmas roll cake.
Shikiya-san let out a faint sigh and picked up her teacup.
"...You made... a fool out of me..."
Was that my fault?
As we pulled ourselves together and ate our dessert, Shikiya-san muttered softly.
"Smiling is... difficult..."
Letting the steam from the black tea hit her face, Shikiya-san swayed back and forth.
Whether smiling is difficult or easy. I had never really thought about it before.
"But senpai, don't you smile quite often?"
"I smile… often…?"
Clatter. Shikiya-san leaned forward.
She's biting onto this more than I expected. It's a little scary.
"Um, even if you don't laugh out loud, you're smiling in terms of atmosphere. Something like that."
"Atmosphere…"
Ah, her energy suddenly dropped.
"Uhh, for example. They say dogs express their emotions with their tails, right? But if you observe closely, you can tell how they feel from things other than their tails, like their gestures, trembling, or how teary their eyes are."
Despite it being a questionable follow-up even to myself, Shikiya-san nodded in satisfaction.
"Yeah... I like... dogs..."
Yeah, I like them too.
As I picked at my dessert with a somewhat warmed heart, Shikiya-san looked at me as if she wanted to say something.
"Is there something on my face?"
"About the doujinshi... is it okay...?"
"I'll try talking to Tiara-san tomorrow. Because I fulfilled my promise to her-"
"Promise...?"
Ah, I hadn't told Shikiya-san about this.
When I confessed everything about my secret agreement with Tiara-san, Shikiya-san muttered, looking a little amused.
"Tiara-chan... is a bad girl..."
"I think you're both as bad as each other, you know?"
"Then I'm... a bad girl too..."
Shikiya-san soundlessly placed her cup down.
…Koto Tsukinoki and Yumeko Shikiya.
The bad blood that lay between the two of them, or the feelings they confirmed under the illuminations.
I have no way of knowing, but there's a chance even those two don't understand everything themselves.
But human relationships are just like that, I suppose.
Shikiya-san and Tsukinoki-senpai's relationship was repaired, and Tiara-san's worries decreased by one.
It's more than enough to wrap up my time as a 15-year-old.
Before I knew it, Shikiya-san had finished eating her dessert. As always, I wonder when this person actually eats.
I observed Shikiya-san while pretending to drink my black tea.
Her makeup was modest today, and excluding her white contacts, I would believe it if I were told she wasn't wearing any makeup.
Yanami was saying the other day that "you shouldn't trust a girl's self-proclaimed bare face", but that's probably just jealousy.
This is why girls are scary.
...Even so, this person has really long eyelashes. Her facial features are well-proportioned, too, and unlike Yanami, she has a mature allure to her.
As I unconsciously gazed at her, Shikiya-san tilted her head and looked back at me.
"What's... wrong?"
"No, I was just wondering what kind of conversation you had with Tsukinoki-senpai."
Shikiya-san slowly traced her lips with her fingertips.
"...It's a secret."
She muttered in a whisper and crossed her long legs the other way.
Wait, what is this atmosphere?
"Did something happen?"
Shikiya-san didn't answer that, but swayed her body, looking somewhat joyful.
...Something definitely happened.
While praying for Tamaki-senpai's good luck, I downed the rest of my cold black tea in one gulp.
The quiet melody of the music box.
Inside the dimly lit restaurant, illuminated by the candlelight, Shikiya-san slowly wobbled.
There wasn't any conversation in particular, and our cups were already empty.
It's not like I had the composure to make silence my ally while being with an older girl.
Honestly, it was a bit awkward, and I didn't know what to talk about.
But for some reason, I found it hard to just walk away.
For whatever reason, I didn't mind this awkward time with Shikiya-san.
Shikiya-san silently drank her tea. Her pale eyes giving no hint as to where she was looking, just like always.
Yet, I found myself waiting for her gaze to meet mine, if only a little.
Shikiya-san looked at me and lightly tilted her head.
I smiled awkwardly and tilted my head in the same way.
Awkward and restless.
Yet, I felt a lingering reluctance for the passing time to end.
I let my thoughts wander in bewilderment.
…If I were to give a name to this feeling, I wonder what word would be most fitting.
Intermission: Christmas Eve with Tiara-san
The night of Christmas Eve.
Tiara Basori rested her elbows on the study desk in her room, staring fixedly at a single self-published magazine.
A real-person BL book authored by Koto Tsukinoki.
She herself knew of the existence of BL as a concept. She had no intention of interfering with personal tastes, but-
"Eh, wait. They do that kind of thing in public...?"
Slap. She stuck a sticky note with a memo written on it. Before she knew it, she was running low on sticky notes.
She had been checking the parts that were "out of bounds" by her standards, but there was no end to it at this rate.
Tiara stretched and recalled a scene in the student council room from the other day.
…The Literature Club president, Kazuhiko Nukumizu.
Unlike in the doujinshi, he was a student with a quiet atmosphere.
However, when she was checking the book in the Student Council Room, he had closed in right next to her before she knew it.
What if she had been a little slower to notice?
And what if she hadn't dodged the hand he reached out? If it were the "Nukumizu" from the story, he would have just-
The moment she imagined it, her face burned, and sweat ran down her back.
"T-This is strictly a story!"
Bang! As she forcefully slammed her palms on the desk, an exasperated voice came from behind her.
"Nee-san, what have you been muttering about since a while ago?"
"Yes!?"
When she turned around, her younger brother, fresh out of the bath and wearing a jersey, was standing at the entrance to her room.
"W-Wait a minute, Takashi. At least knock!"
"I did. What's wrong, panicking like that?"
Takashi Basori, a second-year middle school student.
She still hadn't asked her parents why they gave him a normal name, unlike hers.
Tiara hid the doujinshi under a notebook and returned to her usual calm expression.
"It's nothing. More importantly, what do you need?"
"Mom says she's cutting the cake. You should come down too, nee-san."
"Yes, understood…"
Standing up, Tiara unintentionally stared at her brother's entire body. Since entering middle school, his height had been shooting up rapidly, and recently, he was already giving off a mature aura.
"...Come to think of it, Takashi. You're always with your friends from the Soccer Club, aren't you?"
"Yeah, I am. What's wrong?"
"Last year on Valentine's Day, you got chocolates, right? Could it be... you got them from someone in the club?"
"...Our team only has guys on it, though."
"What's that got to do with anything?"
Having said that without thinking, Tiara involuntarily froze at her own words.
...Hm. Wait. What did I just say?
"No, um, it's nothing! Forget it!"
Sweating despite it being winter, Tiara frantically waved her hands in front of her face.
"Nee-san, you've been a bit weird lately. Well, I'm heading down first."
When her brother disappeared with a sigh, Tiara let out a large breath.
...This is also that guy's fault.
Come to think of it, what happened to his "promise" with her?
The moment she suddenly remembered it, her phone started ringing.
When she opened her flip phone, the name Yumeko Shikiya was flashing on the screen.
Tiara took a deep breath, and then pressed the call button.
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