Translator: Skythewood
He is dead.
And I will soon follow.
I just, want him to realize.
The feelings hidden in my heart.
My soul will forever.
Wander in this academy.
「Last note of Girl A」
Retrieved from the Shuchin Academy Student Council Meeting Logs
Chapter 1: The Student Council wants to deceive
Shuchin Private Academy.
Founded as an education facility for children of nobles and samurai, it’s a prestigious school with an honorable and ancient history.
Even with the abolishment of the aristocratic system, many talented youths born to wealthy and distinguished families, who would shoulder the future of the country continued to be enrolled here.
And naturally, no mere mortal would be permitted to lead them.
「Hey! Everyone look, it’s those two from the Student Council!」
A girl said excitedly. The crowd followed her enthusiastic scream, and focus on one spot. The quiet corridor started getting rowdy.
A youth and a girl were basked in their gaze, as they continued walking with calm faces.
By some means of wizardry, only their footfalls could be heard clearly in this noisy passageway.
A youth with sharp eyes and a girl that gave off an air of elegance with her every move. The sight of them walking shoulder to shoulder looked like a match made in heaven, it was only natural that they grabbed the attention of the mob.
A girl lamented as she watched the two of them:
「Ohh, Kaguya-sama… why art thou such a beauty.」
It was no exaggeration to compare her to Lily, Peony, or any other flowers. And her name was——
Shuchin Academy Student Council Vice President, Kaguya Shinomiya.
With total assets of 200 trillion yen, and numerous subsidiaries across all sorts of industries such as railways, banks and car manufacturing—— the 『Shinomiya Group』 was one of the four top conglomerates in the nation.
As the eldest daughter of the head of the main family, Ganon Shinomiya, Kaguya was a lady of a prestigious family in the truest sense.
Befitting her superior lineage, Kaguya Shinomiya with outstanding achievements in various fields such as traditional performing arts, music and martial art. She was in every way a true 『genius』.
And the young man Shinomiya supports is——
「Ohh, President’s eyes… seems to be able to see through everything in this world…」
Shuchin Academy Student Council President, Miyuki Shirogane.
He’s strong and silent, smart and wise. He had the highest score in exams and was the undisputed number one in his grade.
Even amongst all the geniuses striving for the top score in the nation, he was a formidable candidate.
In contrast to the multi talented Kaguya, he gained the awe and respect of the entire academy through his grades alone. At the same time, he won the Student Council President election through his exemplary behaviour won him the model, and he was without a doubt, an outstanding youth.
The aiguillette he wore on his chest was passed down from president to president in Shuchin, and bears the weight of 200 years of history.
When one of the female student walked by Shirogane, just a glance from him was chilling enough to robbed her of all her body warmth. That couldn’t be helped.
In the Shuchin Academy that covered primary school up to university, an 「impure」 that joined mid way and becoming the Student Council President was definitely an exception, and there was only three such cases in the history of Shuchin Academy.
And on top of that, Shirogane won the election in autumn for a second term, which made him the exception of the exception.
He had a piercing glare, and they were few in the Shuchin Academy who dared look Shirogane in the eyes. Those who did either had an indomitable will, or had a clear conscience without any fear of their past being pried. That was the common consensus among the student body.
「Everyone look, Kaguya-sama and the President is chatting happily…」
「Hey, isn’t Kaguya-sama afraid of President Shirogane at all?」
「That’s Kaguya-sama, you know? Having a guilty conscience is probably the furthest thing from her nature. The only one who can stand beside the President is a maiden like Kaguya-sama.」
「Do you think they’re dating?」
「Who knows? I heard that the President confessed to Kaguya-sama before the election——」
In the close environment of the academy, such topics were brought up constantly.
Furthermore, this was love gossips about the two geniuses at the peak of Shuchin, so it naturally garnered the attention of the students.
However, the truth about their relationship——
♂♂♂
「The election did just ended, but they really don’t get tired of that topic.」
On the way to the Student Council room, Miyuki Shirogane chatted up the girl beside him.
However, his eyes didn’t leave the french phrase book he was holding in his hand. Shirogane aims to study for ten hours a day, and he didn’t even want to waste the short period of time he spent walking.
In modern society, people might get chided for playing with their phones while walking, but reading a book while moving were given a pass. That was because this action was a rare sight—— right now, Shirogane was just like a living Ninomiya Sontoku.
The girl smiled awkwardly at him, and didn’t intend to admonish him. This was already the norm for this girl.
「That’s normal for their age, you should ignore it.」
They chatted in a casual tone. Their calm demeanor felt like they were mocking the peasants who couldn’t hide their love problems and troubles.
「Hmm?」
Shirogane shift his gaze away from the phrase book, and saw Kaguya lifting her hand to the corner of her lips and smiling elegantly.
Shirogane remembered saying that exact line Kaguya just stated.
He couldn’t recall how that conversation started back then, but Shirogane was confident of his memory. He was certain that they talked about this topic before.
「Yes, you are right.」
It happened eight months ago.
Just like today, Shirogane and Kaguya heard the students around them gossiping on their way to the Student Council room.
『Do you think they’re dating?』
When Shirogane heard that, this was what he thought:
Hmmp, they think Shinomiya and I are dating? The fools certainly do enjoy talking about nonsensical love affairs.
This was an opinion that befitted the Student Council President who stood at the top of the academy.
… Although——
If Shinomiya demanded that I go out with her, I suppose I would mull it over!
Regrettably, Miyuki Shirogane was also a teen going through puberty.
He would feel inferior to friends who had lovers, and look forward to the love column in the weekly manga magazine that his junior brought to school, and would also read manga that was a little lewd.
And I’m certain she has feelings for me. Probably just a matter of time…
He stroked his chin, and showed a sharp gleam like a hunter that had cornered his prey.
She should just take off the mask of a perfect, pampered maiden and make her blushing appeal to me.
Shirogane snickered as he imagined Kaguya confessing him bashfully with a flushed face.
♀♀♀
On the other hand, Kaguya who didn’t know what Shirogane was thinking fiddled with her skirt that slightly longer than her knees, and thought:
Really now… The ignorant children with their common talk, who do they think I am? I’m a member of the Shinomiya family, the heart of this country. How did they reach the conclusion that I would be dating a commoner?
Kaguya maintained her refreshing smile, and sighed at that misunderstanding around them.
The ideal Japanese woman would walk three steps behind a man, but showing one’s back to this girl wouldn’t be a wise move.
Contrary to her pure and untainted appearance, she was dark on the inside—— no, it would be closer to reddish black, like clotted blood.
Well, I suppose there could be a very slight possibility.If he got on his knees and offered up his body, soul, and hometown, I suppose I could forge him into a man who measures up to me…
Kaguya imagined the the affection Shirogane could barely conceal under his sharp gaze, as he confessed to her shyly. She had to work really hard to suppress a smile.
Simply put, the situation was like this.
—— if the other party took the initiative, there would be a chance.
Certainly, there’s no man who doesn’t pine for me. It’s probably just a matter of time.
She laughed softly. It was a smile that befitted a girl her age who was in love.
Both of them felt mutual affection for each other.
If one of them confessed, then this love would bear fruit. A happy ending was right within their grasps.
And both of them gradually realized this point.
It was just a matter of time.
That was right, the other party would confess sooner or later.
They just needed to wait calmly without panicking——
While they were engaging in this kind of thoughts, eight months passed.
Nothing of note happened during that period—— no, something did change. The two of them went to school on a single bicycle, went home sharing one umbrella, went to watch fireworks together, joined the Student Council for a second term together, and drew portraits of each other in art class. Even the color of their underwear was asked—— thinking back, quite a lot did happen.
But the two of them still didn’t confess.
As for the cause, it was because they were half-assed and popular at the same time.
Humans were creature who would fall for them even when left alone, and would come confess on their own volition—— that was their views on love.
No matter how compatible, or how much they yearn for each other, the two of them just waited for the other to confess, and their relationship didn’t progress at all. The worst scenario would be for them to stay this way until they pass of old age.
In the end, while they waited for the other to confess, their thinking shifted from, 「I wouldn’t mind dating him/her」 to 「How do I make him/her confess」.
And recently, it even turned into 「Please, hurry up and confess to me!」, but it would be too insensitive to point that out.
And so, the two of them acted like usual as they schemed to make the other confess, and walked towards the Student Council room.
♂♂♂
After Shirogane and Kaguya entered the Student Council room, they found someone was already there.
「Ah, President. Shinomiya-sempai too… Hello.」
The youth sitting on the couch was Yu Ishigami.
He held the post of Treasurer in the Student Council, and was a data analyzing expert.
In Shuchin Academy, only the Student Council President was elected, the other members of the Student Council were appointed on the President’s digression.
Ishigami was an outstanding talent, and less than a year after he enrolled, he was scouted by the Shirogane to join the previous Student Council. And of course, he continued holding the post of treasurer in the current term too.
His long bangs covered half of his face, and his habit of keeping his headphones on him made it felt like he was trying to avoid contact with the people around him. In actual fact, when he first joined the Student Council, he often brought his work home.
Ishigami had grown since then. Recently, he had been able to perform his work in the Student Council room together with his colleagues. And now, when he saw Shirogane and the others, he would take off his headphones, and he even joined the Cheer Team to change himself.
Compared to the stagnant relationship between Shirogane and Kaguya, Ishigami had made marked improvements.
「Hmm? Only Ishigami is here?」
Shirogane and Kaguya came here after a meeting with the other clubs, so Shirogane thought the other members were already here.
Aside from Ishigami, there were two other Student Council members. The two of them joined clubs or committees aside from the Student Council, and when Shirogane was wondering if they had gone over there, Ishigami shook his head to dismiss Shirogane’s thoughts:
「Actually, Fujiwara-sempai and Iino were here, but they ran off after seeing this…」
Ishigami then took out a white envelope timidly.
「What is this, an application form for the Student Council?」
「… Please read the contents first.」
Shirogane had an ominous feeling.
This was the smell of trouble.
Ishigami was an outstanding talent, and he wouldn’t let the busy Shirogane read work related documents, and would explained it to Shirogane after summarizing the key points. When he opt to hand the letter to Shirogane directly, it was a sign that he couldn’t decide on the situation.
Shirogane opened the letter inside the envelope cautiously.
『Why aren’t you replying to me? I know you are a solitary person. That’s right, that’s how well I know you, or rather, I’m the only one who understands you so much. Oh, how beautiful you are, the sight of you running on the track in preparation for the sports festival, and how you are glistening in sweat is so beautiful. Ohh, how I wish to turn your beauty into eternity. When that time comes, I will go with you. The two of us will turn into eternity together, and your beauty will be preserved. That is the most important thing—— but why are you turning me down? Why don’t you understand me? If you continue to ignore me, I will turn you into eternity by my own hands. Even if you don’t acknowledge me, I’m sure God will, because preserving your beauty forever is the right thing to do.』
「… Hmm.」
After reading its content, Shirogane carefully folded the letter and put it back into the envelope.
At this moment, Kaguya brought freshly brewed tea over, and Shirogane took the cup and proffered the envelope to her. As they exchanged the items in their hand, Kaguya asked nonchalantly:
「What does it say?」
「Hmmp, just your usual threatening letter.」
Shirogane sip on his tea and said calmly.
His face was like that of an elite that wouldn’t be wavered by such trivial matters.
Shirogane might look calm on the surface——
How scary! Sigh… This is a pain… saying 『I will turn you into eternity by my own hands』 already made this a criminal case, right? No no, this is beyond the jurisdiction of the Student Council! It’s too terrifying!
But his heart wasn’t calm at all, and was freezingly chilly.
Shirogane turned pale and the light was gone from his eyes, as he tried to hide his trembling hands. To stop the tea in his cup from spilling, Shirogane finish it all in one gulp, and burned his mouth.
But thanks to this pain, Shirogane regained a little of his spirit.
After coughing a little to check the condition of his throat, Shirogane asked Ishigami:
「But the culprit who wrote this threatening mail is kind of a klutz… and didn’t even write the name of the addressee. Just who is this meant for?」
「That’s right. To investigate, Fujiwara-sempai and Iino…」
「Oh, about that——」
Just as Ishigami and Kaguya who finished reading the letter was about to say something, the door was opened with a bang.
「Love sickness that even doctors can’t treat, shall be cured by this famous detective! Love detective Chika is here!」
Student Council Secretary Chika Fujiwara barged in with ragged breath.
On her head was a familiar hunting cap she borrowed from the drama club. For unknown reasons, she insisted on wearing this hunting cap whenever she talks about love related topics.
Even though the Student Council was short on manpower, Fujiwara and Kaguya would occasionally help out the drama club on their request. They were happy to help, and Kaguya would occasionally wear cosplay too, so Shirogane had no complaints about that.
Besides, there would be no one to this if he tried to interfere with Fujiwara’s actions—— However, Shirogane couldn’t help asking asking this time.
「Why are you wearing that? This isn’t a love topic.」
「Tchh. You are too naive, Watson-kun.」
Fujiwara waved a finger cockily. Before Shirogane could retort 「Who are you calling Watson-kun, don’t make me your assistant」, Fujiwara pointed strongly at him with her index finger.
「Mi-chan called this a threatening letter, but it can’t fool the eyes of this Love detective! I can tell that this is a love letter addressed to a girl. It just feels a little bit dangerous.」
「No, this is definitely a pure threatening mail.」
Shirogane retorted naturally, and Ishigami said hesitatingly.
「It might seem threatening at a glance, but I think… this should be a love letter. I don’t like to say it, but I agree with Fujiwara-sempai. But Iino strongly insist that this is a threatening letter, so there are two different opinions here.」
That explains it. When Ishigami let Shirogane read the letter without saying anything, this was to allow Shirogane to make his own judgement without any outside influence.
「I see, that is a plausible explanation.」
「Hmmp! The truth is always within the grasp of the love detective!」
Shirogane accepted their explanation, and dismiss his own thoughts. He didn’t think much of Fujiwara’s take on things, but since Ishigami says so, then there was a good chance that this was a love letter. Shirogane thinks Ishigami was more observant than himself, so he wouldn’t be so arrogant as to refute Ishigami’s view without any basis.
「Hmm? But Secretary Fujiwara, you mentioned 『this is a love letter addressed to a girl』, how did you know that? The gender wasn’t specified in the letter.」
「Hmmp, that’s because… that’s because……… Huh?」
Fujiwara tilted her head.
「Speaking of which, why did I think this is a love letter written by a boy to a girl? The handwriting looks like a boy, but that isn’t enough to determine that—— huh?」
The love detective put a hand on her forehead, and fell into deep thought.
Seeing her like this, Kaguya raised her hand:
「Fujiwara-san, about that——」
「Excuse me! Can someone please open the door for me?」
A call came from outside, and because the love addict had fallen into deep thought, Shirogane had no choice but to get up and open the door himself. He found Miko Iino standing outside.
Her petite figure was struggling with a heavy box, and there were sweat on her brows.
Shirogane was confused, as there wasn’t any arrangements to move something so heavy today.
「Hey, what are these?」
「Documents to verify handwriting. In order to find out who wrote the threatening letter, I borrowed these survey forms from the sports festival committee. We can match the handwriting against the entire student body.」
「Hey… then you can just ask Ishigami or me to go. The sports festival committee is pretty far, it must have been tough for you.」
「That won’t do, since no one has the same opinion as me—— Sigh, really now. Ishigami aside, even Fujiwara-sempai thinks this is a love letter… No matter how I see it, it’s a threatening mail!」
Iino said in a serious tone, and concluded without any room for negotiation. Regrettably, she was out of breath mid sentence. For Iino who was lacking in physical endurance, bringing the survey forms for the entire student body was strenuous work.
If it was for the sake of carrying out her conviction, she would do all that without any word of complaint—— that was the style of Miko Iino. She competed with Shirogane for the seat of Student Council President, and now held the post of auditor within the Student Council, and was everyone’s colleague.
「Do you plan to find the culprit by matching the handwritings one by one? Even if all the members of the Student Council did this together, who knows how many days it will take…」
「There is no need to trouble everyone, I can do this by myself. Matching handwritings isn’t something normal people can do, but the one who wrote this has a distinct handwriting style. For example the word 『go』 was written in one stroke, so I can find the culprit with efficiently with this clue. Don’t worry, I will also do my Student Council and Morals committee duties too.」
Iino said with determination. Her firm eyes didn’t show any sign of detest towards the hard work involved. She was really planning to find the culprit alone. Unfortunately, as if she was pouring cold water over Iino——
「Please listen——」
It was rare seeing Kaguya cut her off with a troubled face.
「This letter is addressed to me. I have an idea who wrote it.」
「Ehh?」
「Hah?」
Shirogane and Iino opened their eyes wide. Kaguya looked troubled, but chose to continue:
「In the past, I received a love letter, and discussed this with the President and Fujiwara-san. This is from the same person.」
「… Oh, that did happen.」
Shirogane started thinking back. That was before summer vacation, Kaguya said she received a love letter, and declared she would date that person. A lot of things happened, and in the end Fujiwara stopped Kaguya in tears.
Kaguya didn’t bring this up again, so Shirogane thought that was the end of this matter——
「Eh, ehh!?」
Shirogane’s train of thought was disrupted by a high pitch shout.
「Then, what about the handwriting verification? I brought these all the way here!!」
With her eyes on the pile of questionnaires, Iino’s scream echoed in the Student Council room.
♂♂♂
In the end, Ishigami sent the questionnaires back.
When the exhausted Iino went to the washroom, Ishigami got up from the couch and said 「Ah, I will return this.」 Before Shirogane could even offer to help, he had already left the Student Council room. Ishigami was actually very kind towards Iino, if only Iino could notice it, their relationship would definitely improve.
After some time, Iino returned to the Student Council room. This was a side topic, but Miko Iino visits the washroom frequently. With regards to that, Iino’s friend Osaragi Kobachi explained it as 「God made Miko small, especially her bladder」, and Ishigami commented 「It will get her into trouble one day」.
Because she made a wasted trip, Iino was so depressed that she didn’t notice the pile of questionnaires were gone.
Shirogane wasn’t sure how to console Iino, so faked a cough and continued the topic:
「So to summarized what Shinomiya said—— before summer vacation, after discussing with us, she turned the other party down clearly by saying 『Sorry, I can’t date you.』 However, that person started sending letters to her recently again.」
「That’s right. The letters were placed directly in my shoebox in the past, but recently, I started throwing them out without even reading. That’s why he changed tact and sent them directly to the Student Council.」
Shinomiya was saying that it was troubling, but her face didn’t look that way at all.
「Hmm.」
Shirogane nodded to concur that it was indeed troubling, but he seemed completely unfazed.
What he was thinking didn’t match his appearance at all.
Oh god! Receiving these scary mails frequently is terrifying, why is Shinomiya so calm!? Is she confident of subduing her opponent in an emergency!?
Shirogane who had experienced being thrown by Kaguya onto the floor desperately hid the wavering in his heart.
When Kaguya leaned forth to pour tea for Shirogane, she pretended to mention casually:
「But what should I do? Now that it have come to this, I will have to get help from others. But the other party is a fellow schoolmate, so it’s not too convenient to bring this up to the teachers or police——」
「Hmm……」
Shirogane realized that Kaguya’s tone sounded strange, which made him wary.
So it’s the usual, Shirogane’s mind started churning.
「I already told the other party that I’m troubled by these actions. Since he isn’t backing down, then I will need a more convincing explanation.」
Her tone sounded like she was discussing something, but Kaguya had a chilling smile on her face. She then glanced at Shirogane.
「Is there anyone who can convince that person completely?」
「Hmm.」
Shirogane brought the tea cup to his mouth, and surveyed the room discreetly.
Ishigami was away, Iino looked depressed, and Fujiwara was unreliable.
Kaguya used the vague term 「who」, but Shirogane noticed that he was the best candidate.
Shirogane started imagining how he could convince the person he sent that letter.
♂♂♂
Assume the sender was called Mr. X.
Shirogane imagined him standing face to face with 『X』 on the chilly rooftop.
With the white envelope in hand, Shirogane asked:
「You wrote this, right? You are troubling Shinomiya with your constant mail to her. Please desist at once.」
『X』 was shaken, and he yelled at Shirogane: 「This is none of your business!」
「Hmmp, but it is. I’m the Student Council President, and Shinomiya is the Vice President. As fellow members of the Student Council I have the rights to be involved in her affairs.」
『X』 snarled, ready to pounced on Shirogane and beat him off. He roared: 「Love is a private matter!」
Shirogane sighed again. Matters of the heart was private. It seemed that the Student Council President helping his Vice President was not compelling enough of a reason to convince 『X』.
Then Shirogane could only answer him this way:
「I do have another reason.」
Shirogane’s hair was messy from the wind, and he flicked it back. Flower petals seemed to be scattering behind him as he declared:
「Shinomiya is my woman.」
『X』 fell into despair because of how absolute that declaration was, and collapsed onto his knees.
And the incident was resolved perfectly.
Kaguya got liberated from the stalker and his undesired love letters, and officially started dating Shirogane——
No, this won’t work! I will lose!
Shirogane shook his head and refuted his delusion.
——「My woman」 declaration!
Since ancient times, this was a classic line in love stories that would win the hearts of the ladies.
From the male perspective, this was an action that declared to everyone that this woman was his lover; from the female perspective, this would resolve her own problems, and allow her to get the man she had an ambigious relationship with. Killing two birds with one stone.
Indeed, the 「My woman」 declaration favors the woman more.
In a relationship between lovers, 『the one who falls in love first loses』 was the absolute rule. Which means to say, the one who confess first was the loser. For Shirogane and Kaguya who had more pride than normal people, they would never permit themselves to confess before the other.
Assuming Shirogane did the 「My woman」 declaration, what would happen——
『Ara, President, so you are that possessive of me… How cute.』
Kaguya would definitely say that.
A 「My woman」 declaration was similar to a confession in a sense—— No, considering the effect on the surroundings, it is more intense than a confession. This was unacceptable for Shirogane!
「Cough cough—— Ahem!」
Shirogane snapped out of his delusions and faked two coughs to clear his mind.
It was just his delusion, but yelling 「Kaguya is my woman」 in his mind was enough to make Shirogane blush a little.
Even without the problem of the girl standing to gain more, Shirogane realized that he couldn’t yell out loudly that Kaguya was his woman.
If he could say such an embarrassing line, then he would have already confessed.
「Cough cough cough! Hack!」
「President, did you catch a cold?」
「N-No, I’m fine. Sorry, you don’t have to mind me.」
Shirogane turned his face away from Fujiwara who was checking on him, and rubbed his throat.
Whenever he remember doing something embarrassing or his past failures, he would want to roll on the ground and scream.
But this wasn’t his own room. As the Student Council President, Shirogane could never behave like that on campus.
And in return, Shirogane coughed dryly for some time before finally calming down.
♀♀♀
On the other hand, while Shirogane was suppressing the urge to twist his body in shame, Kaguya was also lost in her own delusion.
President’s 「my woman」 declaration——
Kaguya started imagining the scene of Shirogane negotiating with the sender on her behalf. And after Shirogane made his 「Kaguya is my woman」 declaration, the two of them officially become lovers.
Kaguya life her tea cup to her lips to hide her face.
Fufu. The President won’t say something like 「my woman」, that’s like saying I’m his possession—— really now! I don’t like that! Really now! Really!
When Kaguya return her cup to the saucer, her expression was completely different from before, with an unconcealable glee.
She didn’t even notice that when she imagined her relationship with Shirogane becoming deeper, her body would squirm softly.
If Kaguya’s personal assistant Ai Hayasaka saw this, she would show a speechless face.
Hayasaka knew about Kaguya’s side she never show to the members of the Student Council. In her eyes, Kaguya who had turned all soft and fluffy would look like she had a flower growing on her head.
If the usual dignified Kaguya was like a photorealistic portrait drawing, then this Kaguya would be like a child’s scribbling in crayons. That was how different she was now.
If the observant Yu Ishigami was present, he would probably suspect from the change in Kaguya’s facial expression that the tea was drugged. Kaguya would go so far as to use illegal means to put herself into an excited state—— and Ishigami would probably imagine something that would scare himself out of his wits.
Fortunately, Hayasaka and Ishigami weren’t here.
Fujiwara was still lost in her thoughts, and Iino was still depressed. Shirogane kept coughing as if he was trying to expel his delusion. Kaguya was lucky that no one noticed her unsightly side.
In the end, it was Shirogane’s coughing that pulled Kaguya back from the flower field in her mind.
「Cough, cough! Hack!」
「President, did you catch a cold?」
「N-No, I’m fine. Sorry, you don’t have to mind me.」
Shirogane said he was fine, but Kaguya was already thinking back to earlier moments.
A few minutes ago, when Shirogane handed the letter to Kaguya, and when she served her tea, Kaguya noticed Shirogane was shivering.
And since just now, Shirogane had been coughing unnaturally.
Shivering and unnatural coughing, there was only one conclusion.
That’s right, the President caught a cold! That won’t do! I have to bring him to the nurse’s office quickly. When I caught a cold, President visited me, so it is my turn now to take care of the President.
Kaguya thought back to that time before summer vacation. That day, Shirogane visited the Kaguya residence, the Shinomiya manor for the first time. A small misunderstanding that occurred later created a small gulf between them, but Kaguya didn’t think it affected them too much.
Until the President falls asleep, I have to stay by his side. If he has trouble falling asleep, I will tell him a few stories. Fufu, the President is just like a kid. But that can’t be helped, everyone’s mental age will regress a little when they catch a cold..
Kaguya thought, not knowing that she was the only one who regress to a child-like state when she falls sick.
One good turn deserves another. Kaguya made up her mind, and was about to speak when she stopped herself, as she remembered something.
Wait, didn’t President deny it when Fujiwara-san asked 「President, did you catch a cold?」 Which means, President don’t want the others to know he is ill?
Miyuki Shirogane had a strong sense of responsibility. Instead of forcing his work onto others, he would choose to do it himself even if he was not feeling well.
If Kaguya tried to take him away, he would probably turn her down.
But Kaguya had to bring him to the nurse’s office, and take care of him.
This was only right as a person.
A favor should be returned in kind. If someone is ill, then we have to take care of him. This is the ethics of human! I will cook congee for the President, then feed him with an 「Ahh〜」. Or wiped his body with a wet towel, and sleep with him if it is necessary… I-I’m not intentionally thinking about all that! Although I will do that if it is necessary!
However, there was a problem with this plan.
Both the one being taken care of, and the one administering care had to agree.
If Kaguya forcibly bring Shirogane to the nurse’s office, and took care of him against his will, that would be similar to something…
It would be like a commuter wife who barged into a man’s room and started doing chores!
In that case, a woman who brought a man to the nurse’s office and started taking care of him forcefully will be…
Not a commuter wife, but a consummate wife!
… Who are you calling his wife!
Kaguya woke up from her own retort, and finally felt a sense of danger.
Because of her earlier delusion, Kaguya’s mind turned sharp. At the same time, Kaguya realized she was caught in her mind’s maze earlier.
Some time ago, I learned that 『playing doctor』 is an innuendo for sex. Which means, bringing the President to the nurse’s office and taking care of him could be easily misunderstood by others——?
She was suspicious of things related to sex—— as a sheltered lady, Kaguya’s knowledge about sex didn’t fit the reality of the situation. After all, she only have upper primary school level of sexual knowledge.
But Kaguya’s experience told her that when she took the initiative to act, it would normally lead to unexpected results.
She had to speak carefully when it was related to sex. That was the defensive measures that Kaguya had drawn up.
But even so——
Kaguya clenched her fist lightly without being seen by the others.
This isn’t the usual battle of wits. I’m just… that’s right, I just want the President to not push himself too hard. And the President is always sleep deprived—— and the President is still the 『President』, might be because… of my willfulness.
It was rare for Kaguya to show so much concern for someone. She took a quick breath and opened her mouth with determination.
However, before Kaguya could speak:
「Oh, I thought of a good idea.」
Fujiwara announced with all smiles.
♂♂♂
「Pretending to date?」
Shirogane and Kaguya asked at the same time, then looked at each other.
「——!」
In the next instant, Shirogane turned his face away to avoid looking at Shinomiya directly. Shinomiya also lowered her head bashfully.
「If we can’t convince the other party with words, then let’s do so with actions. If Kaguya-san appears to be dating someone, that would make him give up, right?」
Fujiwara didn’t notice how notice the changes in their faces, and continued explaining with a giggle:
「Illicit intimate relations…」
Iino muttered gloomily. But that was all, she didn’t made further accusations. To her, pretending to date wasn’t good, but compared to the male student that kept sending unsolicited threatening mail, it was more acceptable. So she gave her silent consent to Fujiwara’s proposal.
—— Ehh, pretending to date? With Shinomiya?
Who? Me?
Currently, treasurer Ishigami is away, and I’m the only man present… So it’s only natural for Shinomiya and me to pretend to date. There’s nothing strange about that.
Countless assumptions flashed across Shirogane’s mind, as he check for any traps.
He observed Kaguya’s face, and carefully observed if what Fujiwara said was a diversion by Kaguya.
Not just that, he also checked his pulse, gripping so hard that his wrist turned red, checking to confirm that this wasn’t a delusion or a dream.
And after confirming all that, everything was normal.
He didn’t find any problems.
「Hmm…」
「What do you think, President?」
Fujiwara held her chin with her hand, and asked Shirogane with a thoughtful pose.
「The way you are asking this is like you want me to be acting alongside Shinomiya—— and pretend to be her lover?」
「That’s right. After all, you are Student Council President and Vice President, so I think it won’t look unnatural for you two.」
Fujiwara said excitedly. At the same time, Shirogane raised his arms and shout in his heart.
He got his excuse.
And now, he could avoid all sorts of problems that would happen if he made the 「my woman」 declaration.
If the people around said anything, I will answer 「As the Student Council President, I’m putting on an act to protect Shinomiya. By the way, this was Secretary Fujiwara’s idea」.
Shirogane’s thoughts had already drifted far away.
What should we do to make it look like we are dating?
Like holding hands and walking along the corridor, which is an announcement to everyone—— keep your hands off my woman.
Like, exchanging lunch boxes to eat, and of course, feeding each other with an 「Ahh〜」—— why don’t you eat me too?
Like spending alone time together after school. And doing secret things in a secret place—— which will be a secret of course!
How perfect.
The perfect thing about pretending to date was, the more they strive for realism, the harder it was to distinguish what was acting and what was reality.
——The Stanford prison experiment.
This was a real psychological experiment performed in America in the 70’s. Specifically, people who didn’t know each other were recruited to play the roles of wardens and prisoners. To make the experiment realistic, those roleplaying as prisoners were arrested by police cruisers. They were then locked into a fake prison, and lived an actual life of humiliation.
After that, as time goes by, those roleplaying as warden started adopting high handed attitudes towards those roleplaying as prisoners. This had nothing to do with their original personality. For them, they were just acting out in a way befitting a warden.
In the end, the experiment was cut short because of violence and people suffering from psychosis.
After just six days from the start of the experiment.
Which means, if we pretended to be lovers, we will develop feelings as lovers without knowing it. And since we are trying to deceive that persistent male student, then we will need convincing acting. Which means, Shinomiya and I had to act like lovers.
—— The one who falls in love first, loses. This was an absolute rule.
But what if they started dating even though neither of them confessed?
During the Stanford prison experiment, the abnormal behaviour of the roleplayers surprised the psychologist so much that they forgot to stopped the violence of the warden roleplayers. If the two of us took our acting seriously, then even Secretary Fujiwara and Iino would think we are real lovers. And that will become real with time, then Shinomiya and I will… Wooahh! This will work! So long, this long war!
Shirogane’s hands started to tremble from excitement. He was trembling from excitement like a warrior before a battle.
For a moment, Shirogane felt Kaguya’s eyes turned sharp, but he paid it no mind.
Just wait, Shinomiya, I will protect you. That’s right, me.
Shirogane sighed, and pretended to say tiredly:
「…Secretary Fujiwara is right. This is for the sake of Shinomiya. I had been in her care all this time.」
「No, President, there’s no need to trouble you.」
Kaguya rejected Shirogane coldly.
「Having Ishigami-kun to act as my lover will be enough.」
Kaguya looked at Ishigami who had just returned from the sports festival committee as she said that.
♀♀♀
Kaguya noticed the changes in Shirogane’s body with her keen senses.
Just now, President’s cheeks turned red. His breathing was irregular, which is a sign of his fever getting worse.
Shirogane then shivered suddenly, which made Kaguya’s mind race.
He’s shivering because it’s cold, I have to let the President rest quickly.
「…Secretary Fujiwara is right. This is for the sake of Shinomiya. I had been in her care all this time.」
When she heard Shirogane said that, Kaguya made up her mind.
President, that’s the same for me too—— No, compared to him, I have been in the President’s care much more. If I don’t repay this favor, that would be slight against the Shinomiya house!
「No, President, there’s no need to trouble you.」
Shirogane had always been busy with the duties of the Student Council Presidency, so he should rest properly when he gets a cold.
And at this moment, the replacement candidate just happen to return.
Kaguya looked towards Ishigami with a gentle smile:
「Having Ishigami-kun to act as my lover will be enough.」
「E-Ehh?」
Ishigami, who didn’t know what was going on, turned pale after seeing Kaguya’s face.
♂♂♂
Huh, what’s going on here?
Shirogane churned his mind to catch up with the situation.
Fujiwara suggested that the two of them pretend to date. If Shirogane and Kaguya follow this plan, then they could enjoy the benefits of being lovers without suffering any losses.
However, Kaguya rejected this plan. What was the meaning behind her actions?
Shirogane realized Kaguya’s intent.
It is up to the subject to choose who to pretend dating, and I’m just one of her choices. If Shinomiya chose treasurer Ishigami, then it will be strange for others to raise objections. If I shout here that 『I want to pretend to date Shinomiya』, that means——
That meant confessing.
Which would be Shirogane’s defeat.
Shinomiya, you are laying down a trap at this juncture—— do you want to win a crushing victory that much?
Love is war. And Kaguya Shinomiya would not called for an armistice through peaceful means.
Shirogane took a deep breath and made up his mind.
Alright then. If you want war, then I will give you one!
What Shirogane needed now was a blitz. As the saying goes, speed was of the essence, he needed to express his views before Fujiwara says 「let’s go with Ishigami-kun then.」
「Hmm. By the way, the only guys here are treasurer Ishigami and me, Shinomiya, what’s your reason for picking him? The most important thing right now is to trick the person who wrote the threatening—— no, love letter, so realism is important. Do you think treasurer Ishigami can pull that off?」
When there was a difference in opinion, instead of raising your own good points, it would be more effective to expose the opponent’s weakness.
However, Shirogane couldn’t list out Ishigami’s flaws here. Because that would hurt his beloved underclassmen, and go against his belief—— hw won’t sacrifice others to further his own ends.
So Shirogane decided to listen to the reason why Kaguya picked Ishigami first, and attack from that angle. He could then avoid launching personal attacks against Ishigami, and hurting him.
「That’s true, the important thing is realism. Ishigami-kun joined the Cheer Team to better himself, and I admire that—— how about using that as the reason we started dating? If we are going to pretend dating, then others will ask the reason why we started dating.」
Kaguya answered unwaveringly.
When Shirogane heard that, he started formulating his counter argument.
Slowly realizing the situation at hand, Ishigami said with a pale face: 「Ehh, Shinomiya-sempai and me? No, erm, what about my opinion?」 Unfortunately, he was ignored.
「Hoho… Treasurer Ishigami’s recent change in his mindset is admirable, but what would others think? Isn’t there a more praiseworthy candidate available?」
What he was implying was 「I’m one of only three impure student in the history of the Shuchin Academy to be elected Student Council President, and even won a second term」.
However, Kaguya wasn’t fazed at all.
「There’s a saying: 『Those who are better than others aren’t worthy of respect, the worthy ones are those who had grown better than their past self』. The President is outstanding, not only do you have the top score in your grade, you are also the Student Council President—— but that’s all just achievements from the past. If you are still using them as reasons for me to admire you, isn’t that a little outdated?」
「Ughh……」
As Shirogane was lost for words——
「I see, there’s some sense in that.」
Unexpectedly, Iino concurred with Kaguya.
Iino hates Ishigami, this was a known fact for all members of the Student Council. So everyone was shocked that she said that.
「Vice President Shinomiya view is very convincing. Let me prepare a simple story, how about this...」
Iino raised her index finger as everyone looked at her, and slowly said:
♀♀♀
Let’s assume the story went like this——
One day, Ishigami who wasn’t serious and a total bum was walking along the corridor.
Because Ishigami was a stupid idiot who couldn’t follow the rules, he would play on his game console when he walks. As he was also wearing headphones, his sight and hearing was completely blocked.
Everyone, make sure not to play on your phone and wear headphones while walking, alright?
A moment of carelessness would cause an accident.
Ishigami would suffer for this one day, and say in regret 「So what the morals committee had been saying is right. Obeying the rules not only protects myself, but others too. How stupid and idiotic and dumb of me to not realize that earlier.」
And as expected, one day, the moronic Ishigami collided into someone’s shoulder when he turned a corner.
「Ah.」
「That hurts.」
The ungrateful and wilful Ishigami knocked into a slender female student.
Ishigami muttered something that resembled an apology in a disgusting tone, and wanted to leave quickly. But when he saw the face of the person he ran into, he gasped.
「Sorry, it was my mistake—— Oh, is that Ishigami-kun?… What’s with the game console in your hand, and your headphones?」
That’s right, the person Ishigami knocked into was Vice President Shinomiya.
When Vice President Shinomiya realized that Ishigami was at fault, her eyes turned cold, as if she had turned into a different person.
Vice President Shinomiya who was always smiling showed the eyes of someone who would use whatever means possible to achieve her goals, and pinned Ishigami to the wall with her gaze.
「… It seems that you need to be educated.」
「Ehh!?」
Vice President Shinomiya started her thorough reeducation of the undisciplined Ishigami.
Firstly, in order to make Ishigami reflect on his actions, she shaved away his long and annoying hair. An untidy apearance was a sign of ill discipline. So the first step of instilling discipline was to tidy up his appearance.
「Fufu, after shaving away your bangs, you look more lively, Ishigami-kun. Just like a monk. Don’t worry, you will feel the change too. Why not recite some scriptures, it will be over while you are reciting them.」
「Ehhh!?」
… And so, the undisciplined Ishigami, was reborn in the hands of Vice President Shinomiya, and the two of them became lovers before long.
Ishigami who shaved his head and turned over a new leaf, and Vice President Shinomiya who nurtured him, the two of them became the model couple in the eyes of everyone in Shuchin.
「But Ishigami-kun, even though we are a couple, don’t even think of laying a finger on me, or you will face harsh punishment. As the student model of Shuchin, we have to have a pure and platonic relationship.」
「Alright, I get it, I get it. I will be your faithful boyfriend (manservant).」
And so, even though Ishigami was still stupid and idiotic and slow witted, under Vice President Shinomiya’s guidance, he became less of a moron.
All’s well that ends well
♂♂♂
「—— And so, I think Vice President Shinomiya and Ishigami dating because he turned over a new leaf is very realistic. If we shaved Ishigami’s annoyingly long hair, that would help to visually bring out their relationship as lovers.」
「That will be strange. If I guy suddenly shave his head, the others will suspect that he did something wrong. Shaving his head because a girl asked him isn’t realistic at all. And Iino, your malice towards Ishigami is too scary. Whenever you mention Ishigami in your story, you will call him stupid or idiotic, isn’t that too mean?」
Shirogane couldn’t help retorting Iino who was lost in her own world.
Ishigami looked at Shirogane as if he was the messiah, and nodded repeatedly.
Iino showed a serious face in response, and pointed firmly at Ishigami.
「Shaved head is different from baldness. The hair that will grow signifies the progress of humanity. Freshly grown hair won’t be styled or dyed, and a shaved head like this represents the hope of mankind! Isn’t shaved heads wonderful!」
「Keep your fetish in check!」
Shirogane felt fear towards Iino who was preaching the greatness of shaved heads.
「President, can you propose a substitute proposal when you raise your objection? What kind of reason do you think will be more convincing for me to start dating?」
「Huh, me?」
Shirogane put his hand on his chin, and pretended to think for a moment.
「So I just need to think of the turning point that could hypothetically lead to me and Shinomiya dating, right? How about this——」
Kaguya smiled, as she stared right at Shirogane like a hunter watching her prey.
Shirogane could feel Kaguya’s gaze clearly as he started to explain.
♂♂♂
The hypothetical story goes like this——
One day, Shinomiya and I were working in the Student Council room.
As the Student Council members were outstanding, they would participate in other clubs and committees on top of the Student Council. With their busy schedule, there were many instances of us being alone in the room.
Shinomiya and I would complain a little while we did our Student Council work.
Well, we were not really grumbling for real.
After all, I participated in the Student Council President election because I wanted to.
After resolving the tedious work, we would relax and rest for a little, and start talking about 「going somewhere to have fun during the next off day」.
And Shinomiya would happen to have vouchers or tickets.
It was really a coincidence. She hailed from the Shinomiya house after all, so she often get free tickets.
Let’s assume… that Shinomiya took out movie tickets this time——
No, a movie wouldn’t work.
Why, you asked?
Even if we did watch a movie together, there was no guarantee we would sit together.
Ehh, you say that was impossible? That two people going to a movie together wouldn’t be seated separately?
It was possible. The world was vast, and anything was possible. If it was the two of us, seating apart when we watch the same movie was very likely.
Well, never mind. Anyway, a movie wouldn’t work. Instead of a movie, the aquarium——
No, the aquarium wouldn’t do either.
After all, to a certain someone, the place we were in, might be the aquarium.
Ehh, you didn’t understand what I meant?
Well, to be honest, I didn’t really get it too, but that was how it was.
Let me tell you a true story. It happened to a friend of mine, when he invited a girl to visit the aquarium, that place suddenly turned into the aquarium for some reason.
In summary, the aquarium wouldn’t do.
Then——
♀♀♀
「Okay, enough, stop stop! That’s bad! The story isn’t realistic at all! President’s proposal is rejected!」
Shirogane was still talking, but was stopped by Fujiwara’s whistle. She was wearing an armband that said 【heart throb referee】 before anyone realized that.
「The ideal encounter and confession scene by the President gets zero points. President, please work harder next time.」
「Hey, when did it turn into that sort of game? I didn’t hear about that.」
Shirogane only said that, and then turned silent.
Kaguya quietly observed Shirogane who would lower his head from time to time for unknown reasons, and thought:
As I suspected, President isn’t feeling well, that’s why he is saying something so meek. If it is the usual President, he would definitely complain to about how unreasonable Fujiwara-san is. The fever must be getting to his head… Really now, Fujiwara-san should be nicer to the President during times like this.
And of course, Kaguya’s wishes weren’t conveyed to Fujiwara. On the urging of the cheerful Fujiwara, the game continued.
「Next will be Kaguya-san’s turn.」
「Do I have to participate too?」
「Of course, everyone is thinking up plans for the sake of Kaguya-san, so Kaguya-san should share your ideal encounter and confession scene too!」
Fujiwara enjoyed talking about love the most, and her eyes were as bright as torches.
Kaguya held her hand by her lips, and finished her thoughts in an instant.
Normally, this would be an intriguing game. With proper use, I can launch a nice attack at the President with it. However, the priority right now is to let the President rest, so I have to end this game quickly for his sake. The President look like he is in pain. Well, the winning condition for this game is——
Kaguya glanced at Ishigami. At that instant, Ishigami shivered violently.
「Huh? Why do I feel a sudden chill…」
「If you caught a cold, wear a surgical mask so you don’t pass it to others and cause them trouble. And keep warm when you sleep at night, it will be unforgivable if you got sick because you played games all night.」
Ishigami’s mumbling drew out harsh criticism from Iino.
The winning condition is to tell a story that is logical for me and Ishigami-kun to start dating. To be frank, even though I don’t think of him as a potential love interest at all, but for the sake of deceiving Fujiwara-san and the others, I can think of as many encounter and confession scenes as they want.
Kaguya finished her thoughts in the time to take one breathe, and started spinning her tale.
♀♀♀
Let’s say there is such a story——
There was no need to reiterate my first meeting with Ishigami-kun.
For my case, I just need to show the process of how I start seeing Ishigami-kun as a potential boyfriend.
Well then, him joining the cheer team would be the most natural catalyst.
My relationship with Ishigami-kun before that was just upperclassman and her junior in the Student Council.
Ishigami-kun was competent in his work, but took his studies lightly, which was displeasing to me. Speaking of which, I helped him study before too.
Ishigami-kun, I told you to study seriously, did you heed my advice properly.
Please look me in the eye when you answer.
… Fu, let’s stop that topic for now.
Anyway, after Ishigami-kun joined the cheer team, my interaction with him grew more frequent.
♀♀♀
At this point of Kaguya’s story, she noticed that Shirogane was acting different.
Shirogane was puffing his cheeks with a 「Ughh—」.
Ehh, President? What’s wrong?
Kaguya looked at his face in surprise, and inspiration struck.
I see, President caught Parotiditis! That’s why his cheeks are so swollen!
Parotiditis, the inflammation of the Parotids.
A type of virus that normally infect children, and those who were infected in adulthood would suffer more pronounce symptoms.
The vaccines for this disease was already available, and Kaguya was vaccinated when she was young, so the chances of her catching this illness was very low.
However, it was clear that Shirogane had Parotiditis, and he would need immediate treatment.
That was because Parotiditis was a serious disease with many side effects, such as the deterioration of hearing and infertility.
Infertility. For Kaguya, this was an illness she couldn’t ignore.
President once said that he want enough children to form a baseball team… I won’t let the President’s dreams be dreams!
It was clear from Kaguya’s eyes that her determination was burning intensely.
Kaguya continued describing the tale of Ishigami and her dating, and put even more passion into it.
After focusing on her thoughts, she reinforced her story with all sorts of facts, as she described how Ishigami she had always treated like a pebble on the roadside became a love interest.
Fujiwara and Iino sighed in awe.
However, Kaguya became more anxious.
Because as time pass by, Shirogane’s cheeks became more bloated, like a balloon that would burst with a poke.
Ughh—— this is bad. If this goes on, President’s future children would be gone!
In contrast to the growing anxiety in his heart, Kaguya’s story became more and more detailed, and her tone was filled with passion.
While Kaguya felt her speech was getting better, Shirogane’s cheeks grew even more bloated.
Even the strong willed Shirogane couldn’t endure it anymore, and his eyes grew teary.
He is at his limit. I will decide the match with the next part!
Kaguya made her decision.
「… And after that, the relationship between Ishigami-kun and me reached a crucial turning point.」
Kaguya said and paused intentionally. Doing so drew the focus of the audience onto her.
Her plan worked. Fujiwara was mesmerized by Kaguya’s tale, and Iino was even more drawn in, as he leaned forth.
The exception was Ishigami, who was trembling in a corner of the room, while Shirogane seemed to be on the verge of tears. But it would be over soon. Kaguya would describe a fact she had seen for herself, that would convince everyone.
「And, that is…?」
Fujiwara urged anxiously.
「That is…」
Gulp—— someone gulped loudly.
Kaguya paused for some time, and slowly described that moment.
It was a fact that anyone would believe, the 「instant she fell in love」.
The sure kill scenario in Kaguya’s mind was——
「On one rainy day, I saw Ishigami-kun holding an umbrella for an abandoned dog.」
「……」
「……」
How’s that!—— Kaguya waited confidently for Fujiwara and Iino’s reactions.
The two of them seemed to be dumbfounded by her incredibly romantic tale.
「What do you think, Fujiwara-san? Any comments?」
Kaguya asked the audience with a confident face.
But Fujiwara’s reaction was beyond Kaguya’s expectation.
「Pfft——」
「… Ehh?」
For that instant, Kaguya didn’t understand what was happening.
She was even worried that Fujiwara caught Parotiditis, and would start coughing too.
It was only when Fujiwara started giggling that Kaguya realized that wasn’t the case.
「It suddenly turned plain at the very end. No, I think it’s okay. Well, stories of puppies caught in the rain aren’t that common recently, so it feels quite refreshing. What a cute love story.」
「Cute love story!?」
Kaguya was speechless. She then felt really bashful.
I —— that’s right, I just wanted the President to rest early. Why did I allow Fujiwara-san to make a fool of me? Or rather, I got caught up in this stupid game all because of Fujiwara-san.
Kaguya glared at Fujiwara with sharp eyes.
「Eeee!?」
Ishigami’s scream came from the corner of the room.
♂♂♂
Shirogane felt as if a typhoon had made landfall.
「Like I said, if we have to find someone to pretend to be my lover, then Ishigami-kun will do! Even me, the subject herself is recommending him, so there’s nothing wrong here!」
「But that’s just your opinion, Kaguya-san. In the end, the problem is how a third party thinks of you. If you can’t even fool anyone, then there’s no point. We have to find a more realistic story to do this.」
Kaguya and Fujiwara didn’t hold back in their argument.
No one who get a word in sideways.
「Let’s ask the others then… For example, say, Iino-san. Do you have any objections about Ishigami-kun and I pretending to date?」
「Ehh!? Ah, y-yes. I think it’s fine.」
Iino who was on the verge of tears chose to side with Kaguya.
「See, even a third party say so. Ishigami-kun and I pretending to date is the right choice. Even me, the subject, says so, so it must be correct.」
「Erm… what about my opinion…」
Ishigami raised a hand timidly, but was ignored.
Damn it! It will be bad if this goes on!
Shirogane was anxious, but he couldn’t think of any way to turn the tide.
If this continues, the role of Kaguya’s fake boyfriend would be Ishigami. Shirogane had to stop that at any cost.
He had to find the reason why Kaguya and Ishigami dating would seem unnatural——
In fact, Shirogane thought of several reasons, but out of pity for Ishigami, he didn’t mention any of them. All these reasons were critical of Ishigami, so many that it clouded his mind.
Ishigami—— I know you are a respectable person, but can you please work on your problematic areas!
Shirogane couldn’t convey the yell in his heart to anyone.
As chaos spread in the Student Council room, the cast was about to be decided—— at this moment, that woman started making waves again.
「Please wait!」
Fujiwara took off her hunting cap and shouted.
……Secretary Fujiwara?
Why did she took off her symbol of a love detective at this juncture? And was that hat even necessary? Why was there a ribbon on the cap?
There was too many things to retort.
He couldn’t read Fujiwara’s actions. That woman’s train of thought was unfathomable even to the top mind of the Shuchin Academy, Shirogane.
And that was why, Fujiwara was capable of shattering Kaguya’s plans.
Please, Secretary Fujiwara. Please perform an attack to turn things around… even disrupting the current atmosphere would be a big help!
Shirogane prayed as he waited for Fujiwara to speak.
「There is a more suitable candidate than Ishigami-kun!」
Good! That’s it. Say it. Say my name!
Shirogane clenched his fists as he waited for Fujiwara to continue.
Uneasiness flashed across his mind. Up until now, they had suffered many hardship because of Fujiwara’s actions—— However, no, because of that…
Shirogane chose to believe and waited for her to speak.
「And that is——」
That is?
The fateful moment. He felt so tense that Shirogane might just faint on the spot.
「The President!」
It’s me ahhhh! Well done Secretary Fujiwara!
Shirogane wanted to yell into the sky, and quickly covered it up by faking a cough.
The unexpected saviour made Shirogane lose his cool, so he didn’t notice that Fujiwara was actually a little mad.
「——Cough. ——Ahem, so, Secretary Fujiwara. What’s your reason?」
Fujiwara who was slightly upset muttered:
「Speaking of growth, the President grew much more. Do you know how much the President made me toil…?」
「H-Hey, Secretary Fujiwara…」
Shirogane knew that Fujiwara was talking about the special trainings she gave him.
Shirogane didn’t mean to work Fujiwara so hard, but he knew how much responsibility and burden Fujiwara had to take on for each of those training.
「I worked so hard too!」
If Shirogane’s growth was refuted, that meant refuting all the effort Fujiwara had put in so far.
That was the reason she was mad.
However, Fujiwara was unexpectedly tight lipped. If you ask her to keep a secret, she would not leak a word. That was a reason why she kept up such a long friendship with Kaguya Shinomiya. So when the topic involves the special training, she would express it in vague terms.
「I’m the one who taught the technique to the President!」
「Your phrasing!!」
The vague expression would often cause misunderstandings—— That was the nature of the world.
「Even though I taught the President by the hand to do this and that.」
「I get it! I won’t trouble you next time, alright!」
「You pleaded for me in the past, and now that you don’t need me, you just toss me aside! What a jerk! Please take responsibility properly!」
「Enough, are you stupid!」
Fujiwara didn’t realized that she had leaked out Shirogane’s secret in an awful manner.
Shirogane looked anxiously to the side, and saw Iino’s face switching repeatedly between white and red. Ishigami said quietly 「Fujiwara-sempai is making trouble again」, which was the only salvation for Shirogane.
Most importantly, what was Shinomiya’s reaction… Shirogane timidly turned towards Kaguya.
♀♀♀
——Even though I taught the President by the hand to do this and that.
What did she mean by teaching the President to do all sorts of things?
Again, Kaguya Shinomiya only had sexual knowledge on par with upper primary schoolers.
Compared to that, 『teaching President by the hand to do this and that』 was on the level of middle schoolers, so Kaguya couldn’t understand that.
Or rather, Kaguya was most concerned with Shirogane’s illness.
「What’s going on… N-No, that’s not it, Shinomiya …」
Shirogane sounded hoarse and weak. He was usually firm and straight forward, but could only speak in such a voice now, which mean that the situation was urgent.
The President’s face looked worse after Chika Fujiwara started clamoring about 「doing this and that」. Stop speaking so loudly and agitate the President.
Now wasn’t the time to keep nagging.
Kaguya was ready to resort to force.
She said in a tone firmer than usual to Fujiwara.
「Fujiwara-san!」
「Eeee!」
The one reacted to Kaguya wasn’t Fujiwara this time either, but Iino who was shivering and curled up into a ball. But Kaguya paid it no mind.
「Hey, Iino, you are trembling from such a trivial matter? If Shinomiya-sempai gets serious and stood before you, wouldn’t your knees buckle?」
Ishigami mocked Iino who was trembling from fear. He said it softly so Kaguya wouldn’t hear him, but she still heard him anyway.
Kaguya looked at Ishigami and said:
「I choose Ishigami-kun to act as my boyfriend. I won’t accept any objections.」
Ishigami collapsed from terror.
♂♂♂
Shirogane screamed with Ishigami in his arms:
「Ishigami ahhhh!」
To Ishigami, this was like barely escaping from certain death, and when he was just breathing in relief, he got impaled by a icicle.
After Ishigami spasm for while… he stopped moving.
Why did things turn out this way!?
Shirogane and Ishigami both wondered about the same thing.
Do Shinomiya really think I’m in a strange relationship with Fujiwara…?
「… Listen to me, Shinomiya … It’s not what you think, it’s a misunderstanding…!」
Shirogane wanted to explain, and Fujiwara started sobbing.
「What do you mean by misunderstanding… You tortured me for so long… With your sea cucumber-like…!」
What’s that about sea cucumber!? You are just trying to pick a fight!
Shirogane was just about to raise an objection when Kaguya said to Fujiwara in a forward manner:
「Fujiwara-san, can you don’t agitate the President (by speaking so loudly)?」
「I’m not excited...」
<TL: agitate/excite is the same word in Japanese>
Shirogane’s face turned deathly pale. Not just Kaguya, everyone who saw him thought he had fallen ill.
Kaguya’s eyes became as sharp as a katana.
He felt intimidated by the air about her, but Shirogane reached out to Kaguya, as if he was grasping for something.
「L-Listen to me Shinomiya, believe me… I’m not that kind of g…」
「Please, don’t say anything more.」
「Ehh…」
「President, you are really sick.」
Shirogane collapsed onto the floor.
Shirogane only had vague recollections about what happened next.
For the other girls present, Fujiwara wailed in tears 「even though I worked so hard to teach him」, while Iino kept looking around, interested in finding out the specifics.
After that, the immobilized Shirogane and Ishigami were dragged out of the Student Council room by Kaguya, and brought somewhere.
♂♂♂
Dreams were strange things.
The brain would sort out information during sleep, classifying which memories were needed, and which were not.
The reason wasn’t clear, but the brain would perform this sorting automatically, and choose what to remember.
Basically, the more you want to forget something, the more likely it would be retained, how ironic. After all, for the sake of survival, humans would remember memories of danger and them being hurt, since it would be the most useful.
So most of my dreams were nightmares.
——Hey, did you find it?
「Uwah, who are you?」
A woman was swaying on a swing.
The tree branch that seemed rather dead creaked under the weight of the woman on the swing. Why did she chose this fragile tree to do that? That looked so dangerous.
「Hey, did you find it?」
「Find what exactly?」
The woman swung with a creak.
「My most precious thing.」
The expression on the woman’s face was vague. She didn’t seem to be smiling. But I didn’t really hate such zen questions.
The woman asked if I found her most precious thing. Hmm… depending on what that thing was, the answer would change completely. Which meant, that the key of this question wasn’t what the item was. But… how to search for it?
「Since it is the most precious thing to you, won’t it be meaningless if you don’t search for it with your own hands?」
The woman continued swinging as the branch creaks, and creaks.
How strange.
「Because I can’t find it by myself.」
Creaks, creaks, the woman swung.
There was something weird. He couldn’t tell what it was, or rather, everything was strange, and he couldn’t point it out.
「No… like I said… You have to find it with your own hands and feet…」
He noticed when he said that.
The only thing swinging at the bottom were her feet.
Then, where was the rope...
Tied to?
He looked up, and met the gaze of a woman.
She was, no, before him was...
Shinomiya-sempai’s corpse.
「Uwahhhhhhhh!!」
His heart kept pounding.
Sweat flowed down from his forehead, past the tip of his nose and fell onto the carpet.
—— What’s wrong?
It was a dream. Ishigami realized that he had a nightmare. He tried remembering the contents, but could only recall bits and pieces. But the final scene was clear on his mind.
「Sorry, I had a bad dream.」
Ishigami looked around him, and realized this was the nurse’s office. He didn’t know what time it was. From the shadow cast by the fluorescent light, he could tell that Kaguya was on the other side of the curtain.
——Eh, what kind of dream was it?
This probably wasn’t something he should mention to the subject herself, but Yu Ishigami was a man who often slip his tongue. He told her everything that he remembered. How Kaguya with a noose around her neck was swaying in the air, as if she was on a swing.
——I see, so I was dead.
Ishigami thought Kaguya Shinomiya would lash out at him, but she just gave a calm reply. He felt uneasy since he couldn’t see Kaguya’s face behind the curtains. Ishigami who was usually scared of Kaguya wanted to see her face now, what irony.
Ishigami reached for the curtain.
——Back then, was,
「My face like this?」
The bare skeleton of Kaguya appeared before him.
Ishigami was dead.
He died from shock.
♀♀♀
Looking down at Ishigami who lost consciousness after screaming, Kaguya chuckled.
「Ara ara.」
Kaguya had grown fond of playing pranks on Ishigami recently.
She wondered if she went too far as she returned the skeleton model to its original place. She tapped on Ishigami’s face, and revived him.
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